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MAN:
I just had the strangest dream.
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It's Friday.
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We're at the hospital.
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But it's not a hospital,
it's a forest of sorts.
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And I know that because
right next to you there's a bear.
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A grizzly, cooling his feet in a stream.
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And all of a sudden,
you begin to deliver...
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...and I can't get to you.
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But the bear can.
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And next thing I know...
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...he is holding our beautiful baby boy.
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And here's where it gets odd. Uh....
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He chews the cord.
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But, strangely, I'm okay with it.
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That's gotta be a good sign.
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Theodore. Loved it.
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But remember that article I told you about?
Naming kids after famous people?
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I don't want Teddy to think he's a failure
if he doesn't wind up on Mount Rushmore.
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Uh, Arthur. Oh!
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This was tough, because it's mythological.
Round Table, the whole deal.
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But "The Name Game." Remember that?
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"The Name Game"?
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"Art-Art-bo-Bart, Banana-Fana-fo-Fart."
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Brings us to Casey.
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This whole next slew of names:
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Casey, Jordan, Dylan, Drew, Taylor,
Tyler and probably mostly Skylar...
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...are all names that
could be girls' names.
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Why don't we just cut to the chase
and call him Cindy?
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DRIVER: Yeah, Atlanta.
Trying to get out of this place.
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-Denver's where it's at, man.
-Mm-hm.
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They got the whole underground
government conspiracy thing going on.
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-That so?
-I'm hearing a lot of chatter...
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[CELL PHONE RINGS]
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-...on the message boards.
-Gotcha. I should grab this.
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-Sorry. Hey, honey.
WOMAN: Hey, sweetie.
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-Did you get my message?
-I did.
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I'm about halfway through it.
I thought I'd take a little break.
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Ha, ha. I didn't want you to think I was
arbitrarily dismissing those names.
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You considered them carefully.
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It's just such a big decision, you know?
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I know.
Clearly, you're taking it very seriously.
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More importantly,
what are you wearing?
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Armani Exchange.
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I'm talking to my--
No, no, that's just the driver, baby.
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Okay, listen, I'm about to be dropped off.
I should go.
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-I love you, can't wait to see you.
-I love you too. Safe flying.
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DRIVER: Here you go.
-Perfect.
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Yep.
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DRIVER:
What in the eff?
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-Goddamn it!
-We done knocked it right off.
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Hey, man! You just hit my car!
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-You just knocked my door off, man.
SHELBY: Sorry about that.
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First things first,
is everybody okay?
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DRIVER: I'm in a Town Car!
Don't you know airport protocol?
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Town Cars have the right of way always!
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That right there is some serious damage.
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That ain't shit!
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DRIVER: My brother-in-law
is gonna kill me. I'm through!
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You okay?
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Sorry about my friend.
He's been drinking.
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You smell boozy too.
Drinking and driving together?
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Well, we haven't been drinking.
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I mean, we split a six-pack.
Of 40s. But....
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You know what?
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My father always had a saying:
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When a day starts like this,
it's all uphill from here.
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That's actually incorrect.
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-My dad used to say it.
-No, it's all downhill from here.
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Everybody wants to be up.
Nobody wants to be down.
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It's easier as you go down.
He didn't know what he was talking about.
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-Hey, Shelby? We good?
-We're cool, man. I'll take care of it.
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-Okay.
SHELBY: Go get them, Hollywood!
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PETER: Excuse me. Sir?
You mind picking these up?
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I can't. You're not supposed to touch
other people's luggage at an airport.
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Handle your own baggage.
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Bag check!
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-This your bag, sir?
-Is there a problem?
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-I'm gonna have to search it real quick, sir.
-Yeah. Feel free.
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Mad magazine? That's cute.
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That's not mine.
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-This is your bag?
-That's not--
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Jackpot!
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That's definitely not mine.
My bag got switched with this--
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-You packed your bag yourself?
-But not that.
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I've never done drugs in my life.
This is absolutely-- This is crazy.
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Maybe you a drug mule.
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-Do I look like a drug mule?
-I don't know, how do drug mules look?
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-You're the expert.
-What, like me?
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-Who said that?
-Your eyes.
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My eyes said something? Did my mouth?
I don't think you look like a--
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Do you mind not tossing it up so much?
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Whoo! Funky motherfucker, ain't you?
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You are so inappropriate, it's crazy.
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I been called a lot of things,
but "inappropriate"?
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That's some fucked-up shit, yo.
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Oh, my goodness.
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Look at this, Sonny.
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Fancy.
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Died and gone to heaven.
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Are you not aware
that there's a person here?
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ETHAN:
Sorry.
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Well, hello!
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How you doing?
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What brings you up to first class?
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The seat that I procured--
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ETHAN: Oh, sorry.
ATTENDANT: Excuse me.
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I was in low class, and my seat belt
didn't work, and they bumped me up.
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It's called economy.
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Lucky day. Nice to see you.
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Sorry how we met, but, you know....
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Oh, you know what?
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-I think we switched our bags at the curb.
-I know we did.
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Your bag was confiscated.
It had paraphernalia in it.
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Marijuana pipe.
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Well, that's a medical apparatus.
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-I have glaucoma.
-Sure, you have glaucoma.
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Attention, in preparation for takeoff,
please turn off all electronic devices...
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...and if you have a laptop, please stow it.
Thank you and enjoy your flight.
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They made the announcement.
You should turn that off.
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-Yeah, I get it.
-Just turn it off. You know why?
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-I'm gonna turn it off.
-They get uneasy...
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...because they know terrorists use their
phones to trigger bombs in their luggage.
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Shh. Pst, pst, pst.
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-That's not the word you want to say.
-"Terrorist" or "bomb"?
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-You said both the words.
-I understand.
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-I'm trying to tell you that I read--
-Stop trying to tell me and listen.
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Don't say words
that put people on edge.
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ETHAN: I'm trying to be informative.
PETER: It's not cool.
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Would you and your friend mind
stepping to the front of the plane?
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My friend?
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I'm sorry, I need you
to come with me, please.
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Listen. This clown,
I've never seen before in my life.
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That's not true.
We switched bags at curbside.
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-That was an accident. And he had--
MAN: Sir!
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Federal air marshal.
Please step to the front of the plane.
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What? Why?
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Drop the device.
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-It's not a device, it's a BlackBerry.
-Drop the device!
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What are you gonna do, rent-a-cop?
Shoot me--?
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[CROWD SCREAMS]
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It's okay, everyone. He'll be fine.
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It's only a rubber bullet.
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[APPLAUDlNG]
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Good news, Mr. Highman.
They found your bags on the airplane.
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-Oh, good.
-Unfortunately, that plane's over Kansas.
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-Figures.
-But I do have your cell phone for you.
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Now, if you wouldn't mind just signing this.
It's a simple release.
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So I don't sue you.
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Just saying we acted in accordance
with state law.
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-Sure did.
-Good.
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If you put your address there,
I'll have your bags shipped.
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Let them land at LAX and I'll pick them up
when I get there. When's the next flight?
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-ln an hour, but you won't be on it.
-Why's that?
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You're on the No-Fly list.
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-Why?
-It says right here.
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-You and your friend.
-Who?
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-The gentleman I just interviewed.
-I've never seen that dipshit before.
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-Really?
-Yeah.
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-He had nice things to say about you.
-I'm on a No-Fly list? This is ridiculous.
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-Regardless--
-No.
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I have a pregnant wife, I have to get back.
This is a huge misunderstanding.
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-What am I supposed to do?
-Have you ever seen Forrest Gump?
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Yes.
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Well, he ran across country,
and he was pretty stupid.
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So I have faith in you.
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You're free to leave.
09:58.097 --> 09:59.973
SARAH [OVER PHONE]:
What kind of incident?
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PETER:
I'm probably overstating.
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It's the manageable kind.
A micro-incident.
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But it unfortunately landed me
on a No-Fly list.
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What did you do, Peter?
Did you snap at somebody?
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Nope. I did not. I was cool,
calm and collected the whole time.
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I was completely in my rights.
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You get so carried away sometimes.
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How are you gonna get home?
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I have a plan.
And the plan is sorting itself out.
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-But my wallet is traveling.
-What?
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The ID's in it, I've been trying
to rent a car, I had the office fax--
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But I am exhausting any
and all opportunities to--
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[CAR ALARM WAlLS]
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Hey! I've been looking all over for you.
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-Stay away from me.
ETHAN: But I found something of yours.
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Honey, this might all be solved.
I'll call you right back.
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Peter?
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You got my stuff?
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-I grabbed it before they zip-tied me.
-Rally Monkey?
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-You get my wallet?
-I didn't see it.
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Where's my bag?
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I saw your bag, but I didn't grab it
because my hands were full.
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You know, I had this thing in my hand.
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-What kind of car did you get?
-I didn't, because I don't have a license...
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...because it's in my wallet
that's on the.... Right?
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Oh, shoot. What a bummer.
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Yeah, bummer.
11:13.547 --> 11:15.298
Thanks for the doll.
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Fucking idiot.
11:18.386 --> 11:20.387
Hey, you wanna ride with us?
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No, I'm fine.
I'm not really a big dog person.
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Look, I know we got off
on the wrong foot.
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But I have a really great personality
once you get to know me.
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Yeah, I'm sure you do.
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I got 90 friends on Facebook.
Twelve pending, but I got 90 friends.
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I'll cover expenses.
11:38.280 --> 11:40.365
You can pay me back
when we get to Hollywood.
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PETER: L.A.
ETHAN: Huh?
11:42.410 --> 11:45.203
It's not called Hollywood.
It's Los Angeles.
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Yeah, but I'm going to Hollywood.
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What's your name?
11:50.584 --> 11:51.626
Peter.
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My name's Ethan. Ethan Tremblay.
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And this little guy...
11:56.132 --> 11:57.799
...this little butterball...
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...this is Sonny.
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And we would be honored
to have you ride with us. Come on.
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It'll be fun.
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[ETHAN SQUEALS AND LAUGHS]
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JK. LOL.
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HI. "Hop in."
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Life's weird, isn't it? Buckle up.
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ETHAN: You have any brothers or sisters?
PETER: No.
12:37.631 --> 12:40.133
ETHAN: You have a dog?
PETER: Nope.
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Let me ask you this:
What's your favorite color?
12:45.139 --> 12:47.849
-Blue.
-That's so cool. Mine's green.
12:48.017 --> 12:49.684
Wow.
12:51.353 --> 12:53.521
-Do you like hot dogs?
-Yes, I do.
12:53.689 --> 12:55.482
I'm more of a corn-dog man, myself.
12:55.649 --> 12:58.359
I once ate a foot-long corn dog
on a nude beach.
12:58.527 --> 12:59.944
I'll never do that again.
13:00.821 --> 13:04.199
-At what age did you lose your virginity?
-I'm not gonna discuss that.
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-I was 9 years old.
-Boy.
13:06.952 --> 13:08.870
Great gal. Great gal.
13:09.038 --> 13:10.371
Sheila Pimples.
13:11.040 --> 13:13.291
I'm getting a headache,
not because of you.
13:13.459 --> 13:15.502
It's just, I'm under a lot of pressure.
13:15.669 --> 13:17.462
My wife and I are having a baby.
13:17.630 --> 13:20.340
-On Friday. That's who the monkey's for.
-Oh, really?
13:20.508 --> 13:22.050
-Yep. C-section.
-That's sweet.
13:22.718 --> 13:27.305
-So if we could just.... Thanks.
-I understand. God, I totally understand.
13:27.473 --> 13:30.475
I was supposed to meet
a bigtime agent in Hollywood.
13:30.643 --> 13:32.519
Luckily, he postponed.
13:32.686 --> 13:34.312
-So you're an actor.
-Yep.
13:34.480 --> 13:36.314
Yep. You know what?
13:36.482 --> 13:39.651
In fact, I wouldn't mind having
a fresh pair of eyes--
13:39.819 --> 13:41.069
Hey, hey, hey.
13:41.237 --> 13:42.695
[CAR HORN HONKS]
13:43.030 --> 13:44.739
My apologies. Look at this.
13:44.907 --> 13:48.034
-Okay. If you'd just look at the road.
-I got it.
13:48.202 --> 13:50.078
-Oh, your headshots.
-Headshots.
13:50.246 --> 13:53.081
This one, this is a laid-back guy
with a Hawaiian shirt...
13:53.249 --> 13:54.582
...but he packs a piece.
13:54.750 --> 13:56.084
-lnteresting.
-Yep.
13:57.211 --> 13:58.962
This one was my father's favorite.
13:59.338 --> 14:01.756
He says it really showed my spirit.
14:01.924 --> 14:03.091
And I agree with him.
14:04.260 --> 14:05.385
PETER:
What's that, a--?
14:05.553 --> 14:08.721
That's a gang member,
a construction worker, and....
14:08.889 --> 14:10.265
And a nerd. A professor.
14:10.558 --> 14:12.684
No. I'm Malcolm X.
14:21.485 --> 14:24.195
He thinks he's human. So stupid.
14:26.824 --> 14:29.325
What brought you to Atlanta?
Business or pleasure?
14:29.493 --> 14:30.785
-Business.
-Business.
14:31.662 --> 14:33.121
What kind of business?
14:33.455 --> 14:35.123
Architecture.
14:35.291 --> 14:38.793
-How'd you get into architecture?
-College. Anything else?
14:38.961 --> 14:40.795
-Because I'm trying to--
-I'm sorry.
14:40.963 --> 14:44.465
We're gonna be traveling.
It wouldn't hurt to get to know each other.
14:45.092 --> 14:46.551
Okay.
14:46.969 --> 14:49.846
Ethan, what brought you to Atlanta?
Business or pleasure?
14:50.014 --> 14:51.306
My daddy died.
14:51.473 --> 14:53.308
I went to Atlanta to go to his funeral.
14:53.475 --> 14:56.311
Gee, I didn't know. I'm sorry.
14:56.478 --> 14:59.230
He was a great guy, man.
That's why I'm heading out West.
14:59.398 --> 15:01.649
He's the one that motivated me
to get on the TV.
15:02.192 --> 15:04.152
-TV?
-Yeah.
15:04.987 --> 15:06.446
Tough business to break into.
15:06.989 --> 15:08.114
So competitive.
15:08.282 --> 15:10.283
I have a friend, he's in that industry.
15:10.451 --> 15:13.202
-Does he work on Two and a HalfMen?
-No. He--
15:13.370 --> 15:15.788
That's too bad.
Because Two and a Half Men...
15:15.956 --> 15:18.082
...is the reason I wanted
to become an actor.
15:18.250 --> 15:20.043
-Right.
-Especially the second season.
15:21.712 --> 15:22.962
PETER:
Here's the plan.
15:23.130 --> 15:25.173
We are just outside Birmingham...
15:25.341 --> 15:29.677
...and we got a late start, so we will
only make it just to inside Louisiana.
15:29.845 --> 15:31.304
Early to bed, early to rise.
15:31.472 --> 15:35.558
Long 1 6- to 1 8-hour haul,
which will land us in Phoenix, Arizona.
15:35.726 --> 15:38.227
-Eight hours outside of L.A.
-You know what'd be nice?
15:38.395 --> 15:40.146
If we could stop at the Grand Canyon.
15:40.314 --> 15:42.190
We're not going to the Grand Canyon.
15:42.358 --> 15:44.901
That would be easily 1 20 miles off
our optimum route.
15:45.069 --> 15:46.235
That's too bad.
15:47.863 --> 15:49.864
Daddy would've loved
the Grand Canyon.
15:50.032 --> 15:51.324
Why do you even have this?
15:51.492 --> 15:53.660
Oh, because this is my daddy.
15:53.869 --> 15:55.036
These are his ashes.
15:57.039 --> 15:59.874
Why are your father's ashes
in a coffee can, Ethan?
16:00.209 --> 16:02.210
Because he's dead, Peter.
16:02.378 --> 16:05.046
-I know. I know that part.
-Don't you listen to anything?
16:05.214 --> 16:08.716
I'm just saying,
normal people put remains in an urn.
16:09.051 --> 16:10.510
ETHAN:
This is vacuum-sealed.
16:10.678 --> 16:13.179
You broke the seal
when you poured out the coffee.
16:13.347 --> 16:16.891
You poured your father's remains in
and closed it. That didn't reseal it.
16:18.060 --> 16:20.603
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard in my life.
16:23.148 --> 16:24.357
[SNEEZES]
16:26.443 --> 16:29.070
God. We shouldn't have come here.
16:30.072 --> 16:32.031
I'm allergic to waffles.
16:36.453 --> 16:38.454
ETHAN:
Come on, Sonny. Thank you.
16:39.581 --> 16:42.417
We need to make a brief pit stop
in Birmingham.
16:42.584 --> 16:45.420
Actually, our next stop is Shreveport.
That's where we rest.
16:45.587 --> 16:48.089
-It's 1 0 minutes away.
-Let's see if we can make it.
16:48.257 --> 16:51.134
Why you making a pit stop in Birmingham?
We gotta make time.
16:51.301 --> 16:53.261
I left my glaucoma medication
on the plane.
16:53.429 --> 16:55.263
Wait, wait, wait. Your what?
16:55.431 --> 16:56.931
You mean your weed?
16:57.099 --> 16:59.475
-It's medical marijuana, Peter.
-No, it's weed.
16:59.643 --> 17:01.978
-Why do you make everything so dark?
-It's weed.
17:02.146 --> 17:05.397
I'm saying I really don't want to stop
and buy drugs. Is that okay?
17:05.648 --> 17:08.776
I didn't want to play this card,
certainly not this early.
17:08.944 --> 17:11.779
But guess what. Guess who's got
the Subaru lmpreza. Me.
17:11.946 --> 17:13.656
Guess who's got all the money. Me.
17:13.824 --> 17:16.284
Guess who's got
a winning personality. Me.
17:16.452 --> 17:19.244
What do you have?
You have a nice hairline, fine.
17:19.413 --> 17:20.788
You have a strong jaw, fine.
17:20.955 --> 17:22.915
But I gotta tell you something, mister.
17:23.083 --> 17:25.460
Your personality needs some work.
17:25.627 --> 17:27.002
My God.
17:27.171 --> 17:29.589
Now, do you want a ride
to California or not?
17:29.757 --> 17:32.175
-Yes, please.
-Good. Hold Dad.
17:32.342 --> 17:34.969
-Dad!
-I'm sorry. I got it. I got it, I got it.
17:38.640 --> 17:42.268
Okay. God Almighty, holy moly.
It's like I'm traveling with a child.
17:42.436 --> 17:45.104
-Did you use the restroom?
-I need to take a pee-pee.
17:46.523 --> 17:48.066
[LINE RINGS]
17:48.275 --> 17:50.610
SARAH: Peter?
-Crisis averted, I'm driving.
17:50.778 --> 17:52.487
-Driving how?
-Let me talk to her.
17:52.654 --> 17:56.157
With a guy-- Please don't.
With a guy that I met in a rent-a-car.
17:56.325 --> 17:58.993
You're gonna drive 2000 miles
with a guy you just met?
17:59.161 --> 18:00.286
Say hi to--
18:00.454 --> 18:03.873
Sarah? Hi, this is Ethan Tremblay.
I'm riding with Peter. How are you?
18:04.291 --> 18:06.209
I'm fine. How are you?
18:06.376 --> 18:10.004
Good, good. I wanted to let you know
I have your package, and he is A-okay.
18:10.172 --> 18:12.340
And I will have him
delivered by Thursday.
18:12.508 --> 18:14.675
Thank you so much.
18:14.843 --> 18:17.970
Hey, Sarah? One other thing.
Do you have a hairdresser out West?
18:18.138 --> 18:20.640
I got this killer perm,
and it needs major upkeep.
18:21.058 --> 18:23.226
I'm sorry, did you say
that you have a perm?
18:23.393 --> 18:25.186
Yeah, a perm. Like a permanent.
18:25.354 --> 18:27.021
PETER: It's heinous.
ETHAN: Do you mind?
18:27.189 --> 18:30.066
-Can I just talk to my husband, please?
-Yeah. Okay, hold on.
18:30.234 --> 18:32.193
-She wants to talk to you.
-I know.
18:32.361 --> 18:34.570
-So that's what I'm dealing with.
-Oh, my God.
18:34.738 --> 18:37.031
PETER:
Yep. God bless us all.
18:37.282 --> 18:38.533
[BUZZES]
18:38.700 --> 18:40.743
-Stop worrying.
-I'm not worried.
18:40.911 --> 18:43.955
She's very legitimate.
I found her on Craigslist.
18:44.123 --> 18:45.289
WOMAN:
Who is it?
18:45.457 --> 18:46.499
Fantastic.
18:47.251 --> 18:49.252
ETHAN:
Hi. It's Ethan. I called you earlier.
18:50.921 --> 18:54.298
Honestly, like two minutes, okay?
Just buy it and then go.
18:54.466 --> 18:55.508
-Hey.
-Hi.
18:55.676 --> 18:57.718
-That was fast.
-Yeah, we were very close.
18:57.886 --> 19:00.221
I'm Ethan, this is Peter.
19:00.389 --> 19:03.724
-Are you a cop?
-Why? Are you not a licensed pharmacist?
19:03.892 --> 19:06.686
Okay, you just look really official.
19:06.854 --> 19:10.940
And you know if I ask you if you're a cop
and you are a cop, you have to say yes.
19:11.108 --> 19:13.734
That's a myth. That's actually incorrect.
But I'm not.
19:13.902 --> 19:16.696
-No, he's an architect.
-I'm an architect. So....
19:16.864 --> 19:18.948
-Wait, it's a myth?
-Yeah.
19:20.367 --> 19:23.202
Shit! I did not know that
this whole fucking time.
19:23.370 --> 19:26.205
-That's good news.
-You're fucking scary, is what you are.
19:26.373 --> 19:28.875
-Come in. The pharmacy's in the kitchen.
-Thank you.
19:29.042 --> 19:33.379
Hey, Peter, can you watch my kids just for
five minutes, while we han-- You know.
19:33.922 --> 19:36.007
-Real quick.
-Thanks.
19:47.936 --> 19:49.604
Who are you?
19:50.147 --> 19:51.272
I'm Peter.
19:51.440 --> 19:53.733
I'm Alex. This is Patrick.
19:53.901 --> 19:58.237
Great. Alex. Mommy gave you
a boy's name.
19:58.405 --> 19:59.864
What's that supposed to mean?
20:00.240 --> 20:02.241
Alex is also a name for a boy.
20:02.409 --> 20:04.619
So your mom kind of screwed you.
20:10.500 --> 20:12.335
Sorry, my hand slipped.
20:19.009 --> 20:23.638
That one I just got in. It's an Afghan blend
of Wild Widow and AK-47.
20:23.805 --> 20:26.349
You know, I'm not crazy about blends.
20:26.642 --> 20:29.310
I find that the high is a bit shapeless.
20:29.478 --> 20:31.812
A purist. Well, that's cool.
20:31.980 --> 20:33.940
You'd probably love Northern Lights.
20:34.107 --> 20:38.819
I mean, this has got great body.
It smokes like a fucking dream.
20:39.988 --> 20:42.657
Oh, that's just Barry.
He's renting a room from me.
20:42.824 --> 20:45.159
Hey, Barry. How you doing? I'm Ethan.
20:45.827 --> 20:48.788
Listen, did you remember to TiVo
Judge Mathis?
20:48.956 --> 20:51.707
HEIDI: Yeah. It's on there,
if you just look at the menu.
20:51.875 --> 20:55.127
Nice perm, man. Well done.
Well done on that perm.
20:55.295 --> 20:58.089
Oh, thanks, bro.
It's not a perm, it's natural.
20:58.257 --> 21:00.508
Nobody gets perms anymore.
21:01.343 --> 21:03.678
Wait, wait. Don't tell me. Is that a perm?
21:04.471 --> 21:06.013
Yeah. It's a perm. Yeah.
21:06.181 --> 21:07.640
[LAUGHS]
21:07.849 --> 21:10.226
Oh, my God.
You didn't have your real hair.
21:10.394 --> 21:13.354
-Where do you even get those anymore?
-I know! It's like....
21:16.024 --> 21:18.693
I was just kidding about--
This isn't a perm.
21:18.860 --> 21:21.487
BARRY: Excuse me?
-This isn't a perm. I was joking.
21:21.863 --> 21:24.240
-Oh, my God. Thank God. Because I was--
-Ha, ha!
21:24.408 --> 21:26.659
You got us. You got us both, man.
21:26.827 --> 21:29.870
You know, only, like,
fucking jerk-offs get perms.
21:30.038 --> 21:32.832
-That was good. Very good.
-That was hilarious.
21:37.754 --> 21:40.715
-Where are you from?
-Los Angeles.
21:40.882 --> 21:43.342
-Is that where you're going?
PETER: Mm-hm.
21:43.593 --> 21:44.927
Can you take us with you?
21:47.222 --> 21:50.850
No, but there's an organization
called Child Protective Services.
21:51.018 --> 21:53.936
-What's this?
-It's a tie. You've never seen a tie before?
21:54.563 --> 21:55.604
Why do you wear it?
21:55.772 --> 21:57.189
Because I wear it.
21:57.357 --> 21:59.567
-It looks stupid.
-Well, it's not.
21:59.735 --> 22:02.069
Just take your hands off of me.
22:03.613 --> 22:05.114
Please stop doing that.
22:06.199 --> 22:08.367
Stop. Please stop doing that now.
22:08.535 --> 22:10.077
-Will you please--?
-It's Reggie.
22:10.245 --> 22:13.372
Is that right? Well, maybe Reggie
needs to take a nap.
22:16.126 --> 22:18.586
Hey, quit it. I'm not kidding.
22:20.088 --> 22:22.089
[PETER GRUNTS
AND PATRICK COUGHING]
22:24.760 --> 22:26.469
You okay, bubba?
22:34.644 --> 22:36.937
-What?
-Nothing.
22:37.814 --> 22:39.607
"Nothing" is right.
22:40.650 --> 22:43.861
[IMITATING MARLON BRANDO]
And now, you come to me and you say:
22:44.029 --> 22:48.741
"Don Corleone, give me justice."
22:51.453 --> 22:55.623
But you don't even have the decency
to call me the Godfather.
22:57.084 --> 22:58.918
And you come to my house...
22:59.252 --> 23:02.338
...on the day that my daughter
is to be married...
23:02.506 --> 23:04.924
...and you ask me to kill someone.
23:05.092 --> 23:07.343
For money.
23:08.261 --> 23:11.847
But that is not justice.
23:16.978 --> 23:20.648
That's amazing.
I had chills, like, that second paragraph.
23:20.816 --> 23:23.692
When the line-- The murder.
That is so fucking good, Ethan.
23:23.860 --> 23:27.196
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Thank you. I've been
working on the hand gestures to get it right.
23:27.364 --> 23:29.615
Did you write that yourself?
23:29.783 --> 23:31.659
No. The Mafia wrote it.
23:33.453 --> 23:35.704
HEIDI: Oh, that was so--
It was nice meeting you, anyway.
23:35.872 --> 23:37.748
Play it cool, or I'll thump you again.
23:37.916 --> 23:39.834
Sure, sure. You all set?
23:40.001 --> 23:41.168
Yeah. Good to go.
23:41.336 --> 23:43.504
How were they?
They behave themselves?
23:43.672 --> 23:46.006
Pretty much. Pretty much.
23:46.174 --> 23:47.174
HEIDI: Oh, good.
PETER: Yeah.
23:47.342 --> 23:49.343
I mean, they're great kids.
23:49.719 --> 23:51.345
We good?
23:54.057 --> 23:56.350
-See you. Good luck.
ETHAN: Bye-bye. Bye.
23:56.518 --> 23:59.228
Good luck with your acting stuff.
24:26.089 --> 24:28.048
MAN [OVER HEADPHONES]:
--is judging the character.
24:28.216 --> 24:29.884
When an actor is preparing a scene...
24:30.051 --> 24:33.387
...first thing is read the scene over
many times.
24:33.555 --> 24:37.558
First, before you do any work on it,
let it work on you.
24:37.726 --> 24:42.480
Read the material over and over again.
The entire script, if at all possible.
24:42.647 --> 24:44.899
PETER:
Hey, Hollywood.
24:45.692 --> 24:46.734
Card's been declined.
24:47.527 --> 24:50.237
-What's that?
-Your card? It's no good.
24:50.405 --> 24:51.906
-Oh, gosh.
-It's okay.
24:52.073 --> 24:55.075
You know what? I bet I tapped it out
when I rented this car.
24:55.243 --> 24:57.578
Great. We'll pay cash.
How much you got?
24:57.746 --> 24:58.913
Sixty bucks.
24:59.414 --> 25:03.167
You have 60 bucks entirely?
25:03.585 --> 25:05.794
-Yes.
-How much did you spend on marijuana?
25:05.962 --> 25:08.339
-On your medicine?
-I don't know, around 200 bucks.
25:08.507 --> 25:09.840
-Two hundred bucks?
-Yeah.
25:10.008 --> 25:12.301
Sixty bucks for gas, food,
lodging, everything?
25:12.469 --> 25:14.803
She's the only dealer in town.
She names her price.
25:14.971 --> 25:19.225
What were you thinking when you spent
almost all of our money on drugs?
25:19.392 --> 25:21.977
-I don't think in those terms.
-What terms do you think in?
25:22.145 --> 25:24.146
I'm not an accountant.
I'm not even Jewish.
25:24.481 --> 25:27.608
-Are you an adult?
-Of course I'm an adult. I'm 23 years old.
25:27.776 --> 25:30.778
You are the most shot-out
23-year-old I've ever seen.
25:30.946 --> 25:33.906
How have you made it?
How have you not run yourself over?
25:34.533 --> 25:35.574
I've done that.
25:35.742 --> 25:38.452
How have you survived?
That's my question.
25:38.620 --> 25:40.120
-Mostly luck.
-Yeah.
25:40.288 --> 25:42.081
That's what I thought.
Just dumb fucking luck.
25:42.249 --> 25:43.290
[DOG WHIMPERS]
25:43.458 --> 25:45.334
-Fuck me.
-Whoa! For heaven's sakes, Peter.
25:45.502 --> 25:46.919
-We're screwed, Ethan.
-How so?
25:47.087 --> 25:50.297
-You spent all our money on weed!
-It's just another speed bump.
25:50.465 --> 25:54.009
You know what? I'm gonna call my wife.
She's gonna wire me money. That's it.
25:55.136 --> 25:57.012
She can't. You don't have an lD.
25:57.639 --> 26:00.849
She'll wire it to you.
See? That's an adult solving a problem.
26:01.810 --> 26:03.936
-Let's go.
-I told you I was lucky.
26:04.104 --> 26:05.646
Get in the car.
26:08.984 --> 26:12.486
Hold on one second. I'm gonna go get
a brochure for my scrapbook, okay?
26:17.367 --> 26:21.537
-How do you spell the last name?
ETHAN: T-R-E-M-B-L-A-Y.
26:22.747 --> 26:25.833
Here we go.
Five hundred dollars. Ethan Tremblay.
26:26.001 --> 26:28.002
I just need to see an ID.
26:30.213 --> 26:31.880
There you go.
26:36.303 --> 26:38.304
Yeah, this doesn't say Tremblay.
26:38.471 --> 26:39.638
It says Ethan Chase.
26:40.849 --> 26:43.726
Oh, jeepers creepers.
He's right, he's right.
26:43.893 --> 26:45.519
What do you mean, "he's right"?
26:45.687 --> 26:47.855
Ethan Tremblay is my stage name.
I'm an actor.
26:48.023 --> 26:50.691
-Your stage name. What is your real name?
-Ethan Chase.
26:50.859 --> 26:53.861
-It doesn't sound like an actor's name.
-Ethan Chase does.
26:54.029 --> 26:56.196
Ethan Tremblay doesn't
make any goddamn sense.
26:56.364 --> 26:58.324
It sounds like it was made up.
26:58.491 --> 26:59.742
Yeah, I made it up.
26:59.909 --> 27:03.370
Ethan, I know you made it up.
It's your fucking stage name.
27:03.538 --> 27:06.081
Why did you have my wife wire money
to your stage name?
27:06.249 --> 27:07.875
-I wasn't thinking.
-Right.
27:08.043 --> 27:10.586
Just trying to commit to the new name.
27:10.754 --> 27:13.714
Do you guys wanna discuss this,
perhaps out in the parking lot?
27:13.882 --> 27:16.592
One sec. Do you have anything else
with your name on it?
27:19.012 --> 27:20.554
-Yes. Of course. Yes, yes.
PETER: Good.
27:20.722 --> 27:21.889
What was I thinking?
27:22.557 --> 27:25.559
PETER: He has two names.
-That's fantastic.
27:26.102 --> 27:27.811
But one sec.
27:30.982 --> 27:33.525
-What the fuck is this?
-It's an ID.
27:33.693 --> 27:35.361
It's a photo lD.
27:35.528 --> 27:37.488
-No, I can't accept this either.
-Why?
27:37.656 --> 27:40.741
Because it's a picture of yourself.
Anyone could take a picture...
27:40.909 --> 27:43.744
...in a beautiful turtleneck,
put whatever name they want.
27:43.912 --> 27:47.081
But why go to all that trouble
just for 500 bucks?
27:47.248 --> 27:49.208
I don't know why you would,
but you could.
27:49.376 --> 27:53.379
So I get to call my pregnant wife and have
her drive all the way to Western Union.
27:53.546 --> 27:57.049
Start this whole process all over again,
send it to the correct name...
27:57.217 --> 27:58.258
...and we'll be good.
27:58.426 --> 28:00.219
-Absolutely.
PETER: Great.
28:00.387 --> 28:03.097
We'll have to do that tomorrow.
We close in five minutes.
28:03.264 --> 28:05.265
It's 6:35, sir.
28:05.433 --> 28:07.434
What are you, my boss?
You make the hours?
28:07.602 --> 28:11.438
I say when we close. I got reservations
at Chili's. I'm meeting my boys.
28:11.606 --> 28:14.066
-You have a reservation at Chili's?
LONNIE: Mm-hm.
28:15.276 --> 28:18.570
That's actually smart. I mean,
it gets busy on a Wednesday night.
28:20.490 --> 28:21.740
Are you gonna stare at me?
28:21.908 --> 28:24.618
Do your fucking job
until your shift is over, hillbilly.
28:24.786 --> 28:27.413
-Keep dreaming, faggot. No way in hell.
-Oh, really?
28:27.580 --> 28:30.249
Excuse me, Peter. Sir.
28:32.001 --> 28:35.796
I'm sorry about my friend. We really just
need the money to get to Los Angeles...
28:35.964 --> 28:38.465
...so he can be there
for the birth of his first child.
28:39.008 --> 28:42.469
That's such a sweet story. You know
where I was when my daughter was born?
28:42.637 --> 28:44.805
ETHAN: Chili's?
-Iraq.
28:45.014 --> 28:49.017
How about I call my sergeant in Fallujah
and tell him your story, see what he thinks?
28:49.185 --> 28:51.854
Aren't you closing?
Is it gonna take a long time?
28:52.021 --> 28:54.690
He's being sarcastic, Ethan,
and also letting us know...
28:54.858 --> 28:57.192
...that he's a "battle-hardened" veteran...
28:57.360 --> 29:00.362
...who did some half-assed tour
and talks about it all the time.
29:00.530 --> 29:02.030
How dare you.
29:02.824 --> 29:05.868
-Smooth move, that.
-You're sick.
29:06.119 --> 29:08.495
You fucked up. Bigtime.
29:08.705 --> 29:10.164
-I fucked up?
-Yeah.
29:10.540 --> 29:11.874
I fucked up bigtime?
29:12.041 --> 29:14.168
You spit on your own window.
29:15.128 --> 29:17.838
-Let's get out of here.
-Hey, sport?
29:18.840 --> 29:21.675
What were you saying about
my half-assed tour of duty?
29:21.843 --> 29:24.386
-I'm sorry. I had no idea.
LONNIE: No idea what?
29:24.554 --> 29:26.054
-I'm handicapable?
PETER: Handicapable.
29:26.222 --> 29:28.974
-How could you know?
-I couldn't know, and I'm sorry.
29:29.517 --> 29:33.312
Can I tell you something? Honestly,
it's my fault. I'm just having a bad day.
29:33.480 --> 29:34.730
LONNIE: You had a bad day?
-Yeah.
29:34.898 --> 29:37.149
It's about to get a whole lot worse.
29:37.317 --> 29:39.485
-Okay, now put that away before you--
ETHAN: Help!
29:40.570 --> 29:42.154
Oh, I know that shit hurt, huh?
29:42.322 --> 29:43.697
-Ah. Fucking hick.
ETHAN: Oh, God.
29:43.865 --> 29:45.032
LONNIE:
The kid's got moves.
29:45.200 --> 29:47.868
You wanna fuck up my dinner plans,
I'll fuck you up.
29:48.036 --> 29:49.161
[PETER YELLS]
29:49.370 --> 29:51.330
I call that little move "the wheelbarrow."
29:51.581 --> 29:54.041
ETHAN: Peter, get up, get up.
-Come on. Come on.
29:58.588 --> 30:01.048
-Courtesy of Western Union, huh?
-Hold on one second.
30:01.674 --> 30:03.717
-Oh, where you going, huh?
PETER: Call the cops.
30:04.093 --> 30:05.511
LONNIE:
Fuck the cops.
30:05.678 --> 30:06.929
Here comes the train.
Choo-choo!
30:11.726 --> 30:14.561
[SINGlNG]
It's closing time
30:14.729 --> 30:16.230
Time to roll to Chili's
30:16.397 --> 30:19.775
And chow down with my fuckin' boys
30:39.587 --> 30:40.587
You okay, buddy?
30:40.755 --> 30:44.758
Don't call me that. Buddies have each
other's backs when an assault takes place.
30:44.926 --> 30:46.510
Peter, that man was handicapped.
30:46.928 --> 30:49.930
You can call me Peter. Or Mr. Highman.
30:50.098 --> 30:54.184
I'll call you Mr. Chase.
Unless that was a fake lD too.
30:57.438 --> 31:00.274
Why you have a stage name is beyond me.
You're not really an actor.
31:00.441 --> 31:03.318
What does that mean, "really an actor"?
What is a real actor?
31:03.486 --> 31:05.612
A real actor is someone
who can really act.
31:05.780 --> 31:08.448
Well, go ahead, give me an action to do.
Give me a scene.
31:08.616 --> 31:10.367
-No. I don't want to.
-You should.
31:10.618 --> 31:12.536
Okay. I'm Julia Roberts.
31:12.704 --> 31:14.663
You have terminal cancer.
31:14.831 --> 31:16.748
We're engaged.
31:17.125 --> 31:18.333
Break the news to me.
31:20.169 --> 31:22.045
Julia Roberts...
31:22.213 --> 31:24.548
...as you know, we're engaged.
31:25.633 --> 31:27.801
I have terminal cancer.
31:30.138 --> 31:31.179
Awful.
31:31.347 --> 31:33.223
-What?
-Sorry, that's my feedback.
31:33.391 --> 31:35.392
-I thought that was really good.
-Nope.
31:35.560 --> 31:38.896
I'll give you one more shot.
It's Super Bowl Sunday.
31:39.188 --> 31:41.481
You're a coach with a spotty career.
31:41.649 --> 31:44.192
You're down 31 points.
31:44.360 --> 31:46.570
Bust into the locker room
and fire the guys up.
31:46.738 --> 31:48.530
All or nothing. Action.
31:48.698 --> 31:52.326
-Stupid. That would never be in a movie.
-It's in a movie every two years.
31:52.911 --> 31:54.912
Every two years.
32:00.168 --> 32:03.503
Okay, guys, we need to get out there.
32:03.671 --> 32:06.924
Really need to get going.
Pollard, what are you doing?
32:07.091 --> 32:10.719
You're acting like a girl out there.
What are you, a girl or something?
32:12.055 --> 32:15.057
Jackson, come on, man,
you gotta get yourself together.
32:15.224 --> 32:18.936
-What are you, a girl or something?
-Let's up the stakes. Your wife calls.
32:19.103 --> 32:20.354
She wants a divorce.
32:21.105 --> 32:23.857
-The coach's wife?
-The coach you're playing.
32:24.025 --> 32:26.985
His wife calls. She wants a divorce.
32:27.236 --> 32:28.904
Ring-ring.
32:30.949 --> 32:32.449
Hello?
32:33.743 --> 32:38.705
Hey, fellas, it's gonna be a minute.
It's my wife. She wants a divorce.
32:42.418 --> 32:44.169
Hey, sweetheart.
32:45.213 --> 32:46.880
What's that?
32:47.632 --> 32:49.299
No, don't--
32:50.385 --> 32:52.427
This is not a good time.
32:59.060 --> 33:00.936
[SOBBlNG]
33:06.901 --> 33:11.113
Because I lost my dad,
I don't want you to leave me right now.
33:17.120 --> 33:19.454
I don't wanna be left alone.
33:24.919 --> 33:27.421
I miss him so much.
33:28.089 --> 33:30.132
You can't do this.
34:00.329 --> 34:02.122
I got soda. I got water.
34:02.290 --> 34:04.207
Okay. Great.
34:08.129 --> 34:09.629
Thank you.
34:10.505 --> 34:13.257
-Crazy rain.
-Nuts.
34:15.303 --> 34:18.263
I think we're done for today.
We'll sleep in the car.
34:18.973 --> 34:20.306
Okay.
34:22.351 --> 34:25.520
We'll kill it tomorrow. But this is....
34:32.527 --> 34:35.530
So tell me something about your dad.
What did he do for a living?
34:36.074 --> 34:37.491
He was a toll-booth operator.
34:37.658 --> 34:38.742
Really?
34:38.909 --> 34:42.204
He was a real people person.
He loved his job.
34:42.371 --> 34:46.083
He'd come home every night and he'd laugh
about how long his line was.
34:46.250 --> 34:49.835
Because he enjoyed talking to everybody
that went through the toll booth.
34:50.379 --> 34:51.838
Oh.
34:53.424 --> 34:55.592
What about you? Where's your dad?
34:55.760 --> 34:57.469
Uh....
34:58.596 --> 35:00.180
No idea.
35:02.266 --> 35:03.850
ETHAN:
When's the last time you saw him?
35:04.227 --> 35:05.852
1 977.
35:06.229 --> 35:07.646
Ooh.
35:08.439 --> 35:09.564
Ouch.
35:11.025 --> 35:14.486
Yep. Came into my room, said,
"Petey, I got an important job for you.
35:14.654 --> 35:17.948
I need you to wake me up,
5:30 tomorrow morning."
35:18.366 --> 35:22.744
And I was ecstatic because
he never asked me to do anything.
35:22.912 --> 35:27.958
I didn't even know I existed
in his eyes. So....
35:28.417 --> 35:30.710
It was just a big deal. I was so excited.
35:30.878 --> 35:35.132
I set the alarm clock. I could barely sleep.
I just watched it all night.
35:35.299 --> 35:38.093
When it went off at 5:30,
I snuck into his room...
35:38.761 --> 35:41.138
...I gingerly wake him up.
35:42.223 --> 35:44.891
He smiled at me.
35:45.059 --> 35:47.060
First time I ever saw him...
35:52.024 --> 35:54.818
...uh, smile.
35:55.987 --> 35:58.155
But he had his bags packed
by the front door...
35:58.322 --> 36:01.366
...and he picked them up,
put them in the back of his car...
36:02.618 --> 36:04.744
...and drove away.
36:05.955 --> 36:07.873
Last time I ever saw him.
36:10.001 --> 36:12.085
[LAUGHING]
36:15.631 --> 36:17.799
It's so funny.
36:23.306 --> 36:25.098
Oh, my gosh.
36:25.433 --> 36:28.101
My dad would never do that.
He loved me.
36:43.034 --> 36:44.951
[SQUISHING]
36:45.203 --> 36:46.369
What's that sound?
36:48.122 --> 36:49.289
What sound?
36:50.082 --> 36:51.750
Mm.
36:52.293 --> 36:53.960
No, it stopped.
36:55.838 --> 36:57.589
[SQUISHING CONTINUES]
36:57.965 --> 37:00.342
-Okay, it's back.
-That's me. I'm just masturbating.
37:00.509 --> 37:02.052
What? Why?
37:02.220 --> 37:03.970
This is how I go to sleep.
37:04.138 --> 37:06.056
Oh, don't, don't, don't. Come on, dude.
37:06.224 --> 37:07.891
I'm right here next to you.
37:08.059 --> 37:09.851
Just shut your eyes, Peter.
37:10.019 --> 37:12.979
They're closed. The sound.
37:13.147 --> 37:14.314
Just bear with me.
37:17.318 --> 37:19.486
-How long is this gonna take?
-Ugh!
37:19.987 --> 37:23.031
If you keep interrupting me
it's gonna take a little longer...
37:23.199 --> 37:25.325
...but it usually just takes
about 35 minutes.
37:25.493 --> 37:27.035
Is that all?
37:38.005 --> 37:40.173
Your fucking dog's doing it too.
37:40.549 --> 37:42.842
Sonny! Stop!
37:44.887 --> 37:47.514
Sonny, no. Stop.
37:49.100 --> 37:50.433
Good boy.
38:05.616 --> 38:07.075
[DOOR SHUTS]
38:07.743 --> 38:09.703
[ETHAN GRUNTS]
38:41.235 --> 38:43.236
PETER:
Come here, garbage face. Come here.
39:10.931 --> 39:14.225
Don't even think about it.
Had to be done.
39:14.393 --> 39:16.186
Please. Don't.
39:16.354 --> 39:18.438
Intolerable. lntolerable.
39:25.905 --> 39:26.988
[YELLS]
39:27.156 --> 39:29.157
[HONKS HORN]
39:31.452 --> 39:33.203
Son of a bitch.
39:33.371 --> 39:35.455
Goddamn it. No.
39:42.129 --> 39:44.339
Great. This is great.
39:45.633 --> 39:47.008
Fuck.
39:47.301 --> 39:48.802
Don't.
39:51.305 --> 39:53.139
Okay.
39:53.974 --> 39:57.060
We are gathered in the presence
of the Lord and all things holy...
39:57.228 --> 40:01.689
...to celebrate the passing of one Mr.--
I don't remember his fucking name.
40:01.857 --> 40:04.859
Chase. Or a.k.a. Tremblay.
40:05.236 --> 40:10.323
May he forever reside and dwell
in the sunlight of the spirit.
40:12.493 --> 40:13.993
Amen.
40:15.704 --> 40:18.998
You know, I just wanna offer
an explanation, sir...
40:19.166 --> 40:21.918
...as to why you wound up
on the side of lnterstate 20.
40:22.086 --> 40:24.838
It's not your fault. It's your kid.
40:25.005 --> 40:28.258
He's an incredibly difficult person
to travel with.
40:28.426 --> 40:31.261
In fact, I don't know how or why...
40:31.429 --> 40:34.848
...you didn't just strangle him
in the fucking crib.
41:04.712 --> 41:06.045
[CAR HORN HONKS]
41:08.382 --> 41:09.883
Hey, buddy.
41:10.050 --> 41:11.468
Forget something?
41:11.802 --> 41:13.219
No. I got....
41:13.387 --> 41:15.138
I got coffee.
41:15.764 --> 41:17.432
Dunkin' Donuts.
41:17.725 --> 41:18.975
Thought maybe you left me.
41:19.143 --> 41:22.145
I picked up breakfast
so we can eat on the road, make up time.
41:22.771 --> 41:25.440
-Why'd you leave my stuff out here?
-It's your property.
41:28.486 --> 41:30.403
-That makes sense.
-Yep.
41:31.906 --> 41:32.906
Want me to drive?
41:33.073 --> 41:35.241
-It is your shift.
-Okay. Very good.
41:35.910 --> 41:38.328
PETER:
I'll grab the other items.
41:38.496 --> 41:39.621
-Okay.
-Okay.
41:39.788 --> 41:40.830
Come on, Sonny.
41:40.998 --> 41:42.749
Sonny, come on.
41:43.417 --> 41:46.920
I was thinking, "There's no way
that Peter would have left me here.
41:47.254 --> 41:50.465
We've had our bumps in the road,
but he's not gonna leave me."
41:50.633 --> 41:54.427
-Oh, please, no. It's not my car.
-Right.
41:54.595 --> 41:56.638
Yeah. Come on. Get in, Sonny.
41:57.014 --> 42:00.350
You know, my mind works
in mysterious ways.
42:00.518 --> 42:04.020
And I thought, "God, why would
he wanna travel alone, you know?"
42:04.188 --> 42:05.438
You have a nice shower?
42:05.606 --> 42:06.648
-Yes, excellent.
-Great.
42:06.815 --> 42:09.275
You know, rest areas
have the nicest showers.
42:09.443 --> 42:11.694
The nicest showers.
42:19.370 --> 42:21.412
This coffee's hot.
42:21.789 --> 42:23.540
-It's hot coffee.
-Whoo!
42:25.459 --> 42:28.044
-Have we crossed the Mississippi River?
-We're in Texas.
42:28.462 --> 42:31.381
The Mississippi River was the river
we crossed in Mississippi.
42:32.383 --> 42:34.133
That's too bad.
42:34.677 --> 42:36.719
Would have been a great sendoff
for my papa.
42:36.887 --> 42:41.849
Put his ashes in the old river. Let the ashes
float down to New Orleans, you know?
42:42.184 --> 42:44.227
Spend Mardi Gras there.
42:44.395 --> 42:48.314
-I'm gonna get some shuteye, okay?
-Nothing he loved more than jazz music...
42:48.899 --> 42:50.483
...and women's titties.
42:54.154 --> 42:56.239
-Did I snore last night?
-Mm-hm.
42:56.574 --> 43:00.034
Sorry. I'm a deep sleeper.
It's a condition.
43:00.202 --> 43:03.538
You know when they say, "That guy
could sleep through an earthquake"?
43:03.706 --> 43:05.665
I've actually slept
through an earthquake.
43:05.916 --> 43:08.876
I also fell asleep during a job interview
at Bank of America.
43:09.044 --> 43:12.171
I didn't sleep last night.
I'm gonna try now.
43:12.339 --> 43:13.715
You should have masturbated...
43:13.882 --> 43:16.676
...because I had a glorious orgasm
and I slept like a baby.
43:56.216 --> 43:58.051
[OVER RADlO]
--of a gentle coast
43:58.302 --> 44:01.804
And a sun to maybe dissipate
44:02.389 --> 44:06.517
Shadows of the mess you made
44:16.070 --> 44:17.445
[WORKERS CLAMORING]
44:17.613 --> 44:18.738
[BARKS]
44:18.906 --> 44:20.948
Hey! Get up!
44:21.950 --> 44:23.910
Ethan, wake up! Goddamn it!
44:25.120 --> 44:26.454
Son of a bitch.
44:27.414 --> 44:28.581
No!
44:30.417 --> 44:33.586
[PETER YELLlNG]
44:51.689 --> 44:53.439
PETER:
I can't feel my arm.
44:55.442 --> 44:57.944
[PETER YELLS AND GROANS]
45:02.032 --> 45:03.866
What happened?
45:06.578 --> 45:09.455
I'll see if the rental agreement's in the....
45:13.335 --> 45:15.670
You know what? I have coverage.
45:15.838 --> 45:17.213
That's good.
45:20.551 --> 45:22.218
[ETHAN WHlSTLING]
45:23.721 --> 45:26.180
-Stay away from me.
-Jeez Louise, are you okay?
45:26.348 --> 45:28.558
Am I okay? Do I look okay?
45:28.726 --> 45:30.810
I have a broken arm, three cracked ribs.
45:30.978 --> 45:34.313
I have seven stitches in my armpit.
Does that answer your question?
45:34.648 --> 45:36.983
No, not okay.
45:37.234 --> 45:39.485
-Peter, I am terribly sorry.
-Are you?
45:39.653 --> 45:42.655
Sonny's all banged up. I'm a wreck.
You don't have a scratch.
45:42.823 --> 45:45.491
Doctor said I was in such a deep sleep
I didn't tense up.
45:45.659 --> 45:47.493
-I told you I was a deep sleeper.
-Yeah.
45:47.661 --> 45:51.080
Did the doctor say it is not advisable
to fall asleep while driving?
45:51.248 --> 45:53.750
I was just trying to rest my eyes
for a few seconds.
45:53.917 --> 45:56.377
But seriously, next time
try not to tense up. Really.
45:56.545 --> 45:57.670
[HORN HONKS]
45:58.380 --> 46:00.381
PETER: One sec.
ETHAN: Who's that?
46:00.549 --> 46:03.843
My actual friend. He's come to pick me up.
All the way from Dallas.
46:04.011 --> 46:06.846
-Oh, good. Shotgun.
-Nope. Not us.
46:07.014 --> 46:08.848
Just me. We're done.
46:09.016 --> 46:11.350
And by the way,
it's been a fucking pleasure.
46:11.518 --> 46:14.854
But just so my conscience is clear,
let me let you know...
46:15.022 --> 46:17.565
...why you're not coming with us, okay?
46:17.733 --> 46:21.527
It's not because you got me kicked off
a plane and shot by an air marshal.
46:21.695 --> 46:26.532
Not because you stood by as I had my ass
handed to me by a handicapped hillbilly.
46:26.700 --> 46:28.576
I am certainly not leaving you here...
46:28.744 --> 46:32.580
...because you almost got me killed
during the most important week of my life.
46:32.748 --> 46:35.875
I am leaving you here
for a far more fundamental reason:
46:36.043 --> 46:39.086
I despise who you are at a cellular level.
46:39.254 --> 46:41.756
I've heard that before,
and I'm trying to work on it.
46:41.924 --> 46:43.466
-Great. Now hear this:
-Yes.
46:43.634 --> 46:46.886
Beware. I'm warning you,
don't go to Hollywood.
46:47.054 --> 46:50.389
The streets are not paved with gold.
They are paved with the carcasses...
46:50.557 --> 46:53.392
...of imbeciles like you
who think they're gonna make it.
46:53.560 --> 46:55.102
"Pray you, avoid it."
46:55.270 --> 46:58.105
Did you get that? That was Shakespeare.
Heard of him?
46:58.273 --> 47:00.650
Yes, I've heard of him.
He's a famous pirate.
47:00.818 --> 47:02.819
And by the way, it's Shakesbeard.
47:02.986 --> 47:05.738
Let me give you a little bit
of friendly advice.
47:06.073 --> 47:11.869
Nobody who calls themselves "Hollywood"
has ever made it in Hollywood.
47:13.789 --> 47:15.122
That I've never heard before.
47:15.290 --> 47:19.252
Sonny, you will be sorely missed,
you little bat-faced piece of shit.
47:19.795 --> 47:21.087
[DOG WHIMPERS
and ETHAN GASPS]
47:23.257 --> 47:25.716
-I have never...
-Well, get used to it.
47:25.884 --> 47:27.593
...in all of my 23 years!
47:32.641 --> 47:34.851
-Come on, let's get out of here.
-What the fuck?
47:35.018 --> 47:36.769
-We're moving out.
-You all right?
47:36.937 --> 47:38.646
-What's going on?
-Thank you so much.
47:38.814 --> 47:40.606
Who's the dude you yelling at?
47:40.774 --> 47:43.484
He's nobody. A guy I was traveling with.
He's trouble.
47:43.652 --> 47:44.861
He looks sad as shit.
47:47.656 --> 47:50.700
-And you just spit on his dog.
-I spit on his d-- God, I did.
47:50.868 --> 47:54.871
I was seeing red because he has a way of
getting under your skin. I'm fine. Let's go.
47:55.038 --> 47:56.831
-You wanna leave him here?
-Trust me.
47:56.999 --> 47:59.333
-Pete, how long have I known you?
-Twenty years.
47:59.501 --> 48:00.543
-Twenty years.
-Yep.
48:00.711 --> 48:04.547
Your energy's off. You don't wanna mess
your karma up. You have a child coming.
48:04.715 --> 48:08.509
So whatever you need to do to fix between
you and DeBarge, you need to fix it.
48:10.637 --> 48:12.179
Trust me.
48:14.057 --> 48:15.725
Make it right.
48:21.815 --> 48:24.358
Hollywood, come here.
48:30.365 --> 48:32.658
-You see what I'm working with here?
-Oh, wow.
48:34.995 --> 48:36.329
Okay, I've calmed down a bit.
48:36.496 --> 48:38.539
-You ready to apologize?
-What? Fuck you!
48:38.707 --> 48:39.957
-Wait. Oh, no.
-Let's go.
48:40.125 --> 48:42.251
Pete, Pete, relax.
48:42.502 --> 48:43.669
Fix it.
48:43.837 --> 48:46.172
First of all,
I'm sorry that I spat on Sonny.
48:46.340 --> 48:48.341
I have no recollection
of that whatsoever.
48:48.508 --> 48:51.344
Now, if you're gonna travel
with me to Los Angeles...
48:51.511 --> 48:54.013
...I gotta give you a couple guidelines.
Number one:
48:54.181 --> 48:58.184
If you ask me a single question,
I'm going to flip out on you.
48:58.352 --> 49:01.437
-So don't do that. Do you understand?
-Somewhat, yes.
49:01.605 --> 49:04.732
Number two:
If you fall asleep for any reason...
49:04.900 --> 49:07.902
...other than the fact that
you're in a bed and it's nighttime...
49:08.070 --> 49:09.445
...I will disembowel you.
49:09.613 --> 49:10.780
Make sense?
49:10.948 --> 49:12.073
-Somewhat.
-Great.
49:12.240 --> 49:15.576
Three: If you're allergic to waffles,
don't eat waffles.
49:15.744 --> 49:18.371
-Then don't take me to a Waffle House.
-Shut up!
49:18.538 --> 49:20.581
-Relax.
-Get your stuff and get in back.
49:20.749 --> 49:22.083
-Hold Sonny.
-Nope.
49:22.250 --> 49:24.210
Hand me that dog, I will rip it in half.
49:25.879 --> 49:29.131
You better check yourself
before you wreck yourself.
49:44.439 --> 49:47.608
And then, his fault,
we're both put on a No-Fly list.
49:47.776 --> 49:49.777
-A No-Fly list? You?
-Yeah, and it just--
49:49.945 --> 49:54.949
Yeah. Just got worse from there.
Because he's pathological, I think.
49:55.117 --> 49:56.993
He'll just start beating off.
49:57.160 --> 49:58.244
-What?
-Yes.
49:58.412 --> 50:01.455
-No lotion?
-No, no, he was dry-docking.
50:04.084 --> 50:06.002
Is that a drainage ditch coming up?
50:08.046 --> 50:09.088
Yes, it is.
50:09.256 --> 50:10.798
-Would you mind?
-I'm hitting it.
50:10.966 --> 50:14.135
Real hard.
50:16.096 --> 50:17.430
[LAUGHS]
50:20.475 --> 50:21.517
Ethan, you all right?
50:22.769 --> 50:23.811
Yeah, we're good.
50:23.979 --> 50:27.773
Next time, don't tense up your body.
Just stay loose.
50:28.316 --> 50:30.026
[LAUGHING]
50:30.986 --> 50:33.612
-There's another one up here too.
-Want to hit him again?
50:45.542 --> 50:47.334
PETER:
We can't take your Range Rover, D.
50:47.502 --> 50:49.378
Yes, you can. I prefer my pickup anyway.
50:49.546 --> 50:53.507
-I'll ship it back as soon as I get there.
-No need. I'll be in L.A. on Friday.
50:53.675 --> 50:55.634
You will? What are you doing in L.A.?
50:55.802 --> 50:57.845
I'm not gonna miss
the birth of your baby.
50:58.013 --> 51:01.682
But let me ask you: Doesn't it burn you up
that she's getting a C-section?
51:01.850 --> 51:05.561
I mean, that body was so flawless,
just banging.
51:05.729 --> 51:07.313
How did you know we were
getting a C-section?
51:07.481 --> 51:09.482
She told me. Coffee?
51:09.858 --> 51:11.317
Sure.
51:17.240 --> 51:18.574
What is going on?
51:19.034 --> 51:20.493
What are you talking about?
51:20.660 --> 51:23.204
What's with all these stories
he has about your wife?
51:23.371 --> 51:24.872
They used to date in college?
51:25.040 --> 51:26.499
It was like 20 years ago.
51:26.666 --> 51:28.375
Yeah, but come on, you don't see it?
51:28.668 --> 51:31.670
This guy's good-looking.
He's a football player. He's charming.
51:31.838 --> 51:35.257
-You don't know what you're talking about.
-He has beautiful hands.
51:36.051 --> 51:37.802
I think there's something going on.
51:37.969 --> 51:40.513
DARRYL: Here you go.
-What's this picture from?
51:40.680 --> 51:42.848
DARRYL: What's that?
-This picture of you and Sarah.
51:43.016 --> 51:45.851
DARRYL: Oh, yeah, that was February.
We was in San Diego.
51:46.019 --> 51:47.186
She didn't tell you?
51:47.354 --> 51:50.689
She mentioned that she bumped into you.
She didn't say that--
51:50.857 --> 51:54.068
That we were throwing them back.
Getting wasted, having a good time.
51:54.236 --> 51:56.695
Just sort of reliving some things,
you know, just....
51:56.863 --> 51:59.448
-Real good girl. Fantastic.
-She is. Slipped her mind.
51:59.616 --> 52:02.701
February. lsn't that about
nine months ago?
52:03.912 --> 52:06.080
-No questions.
-Nine, 1 0 months.
52:06.456 --> 52:07.915
Nine.
52:09.251 --> 52:12.837
Where you at with the names?
She said you were being a real hard-ass.
52:13.004 --> 52:15.548
-She said that?
-Yeah, she hit me in a e-mail.
52:15.715 --> 52:18.467
-You and his wife exchange e-mails?
-Yeah.
52:18.635 --> 52:20.261
What else do you exchange?
52:20.428 --> 52:22.221
PETER: Ethan.
-Body fluids?
52:22.973 --> 52:25.808
-What is he talking about?
-I don't even listen to him.
52:25.976 --> 52:28.060
This is not bothering you? The e-mails--
52:28.228 --> 52:29.562
Each other's ejaculate?
52:29.896 --> 52:30.896
What?
52:31.064 --> 52:32.606
It's when your urine turns white.
52:33.400 --> 52:36.235
Okay, new rule: You can't...
52:36.903 --> 52:38.863
...say a fucking word.
52:39.030 --> 52:41.073
This is horrible. It tastes like cat litter.
52:41.241 --> 52:42.658
I think it tastes delicious.
52:42.826 --> 52:45.703
You should. I was all out,
so I used the coffee you brought.
52:45.871 --> 52:47.454
PETER:
Oh, boy.
52:47.831 --> 52:49.248
That's his dad, it's his dad.
52:49.416 --> 52:53.252
Fine. I'll buy some other coffee.
I apologize. What's the big deal?
52:53.420 --> 52:54.587
His dad is the coffee.
52:54.754 --> 52:57.965
He passed away and his remains
were in the fucking can.
52:58.425 --> 53:01.552
Get him the fuck out.
The beard, the dog, get him out!
53:01.720 --> 53:03.137
-I get it.
-Get him out!
53:03.305 --> 53:05.014
I know. It took eight minutes, right?
53:05.182 --> 53:06.432
[ETHAN WHEEZlNG AND COUGHING]
53:10.645 --> 53:13.480
Oh, God! So stupid!
53:18.945 --> 53:21.197
Where are the ashes?
Where are my dad's ashes?
53:21.364 --> 53:22.656
PETER:
Relax.
53:23.116 --> 53:24.617
-It was an accident.
-Where is it?
53:24.784 --> 53:26.327
-Where?
PETER: Right where I'm pointing.
53:26.494 --> 53:28.537
There's the coffee machine right there.
53:28.705 --> 53:31.457
There's the can, there's the coffeemaker.
53:31.625 --> 53:35.669
We're gonna retrieve this.
I got it, I got it. Slow down, it's okay.
53:35.837 --> 53:37.338
Can we just calm down?
53:38.465 --> 53:40.049
Let me take it.
53:40.383 --> 53:41.717
ETHAN:
Oh, God.
53:41.885 --> 53:42.968
PETER:
Will you relax?
53:43.136 --> 53:44.470
Oh!
53:48.141 --> 53:50.142
[ETHAN SOBBlNG]
53:52.646 --> 53:54.146
It's okay.
53:57.734 --> 53:59.902
Come here, I'll help you pick it up.
54:00.153 --> 54:01.320
There we go.
54:03.365 --> 54:05.324
Get it back in there.
54:42.570 --> 54:44.029
I'm sorry we drank your father.
54:46.533 --> 54:48.325
It's okay.
54:49.953 --> 54:51.704
Are you all right? Are you sure?
54:51.871 --> 54:54.581
Yeah, there's plenty of him still in here.
54:54.958 --> 54:57.042
Darryl only made three cups of coffee...
54:57.210 --> 55:00.754
...and I think there's about eight cups
of my dad left in here.
55:00.922 --> 55:02.172
Great.
55:06.886 --> 55:08.262
At least he tasted good.
55:08.555 --> 55:09.972
Not bad.
55:10.140 --> 55:11.724
Yeah, strong.
55:11.891 --> 55:14.893
He was full-flavored.
55:15.770 --> 55:17.896
Robust blend.
55:18.815 --> 55:21.233
He really enjoyed coffee.
55:22.152 --> 55:25.404
And in the end,
he was enjoyed as coffee.
55:26.406 --> 55:28.240
Kind of circle of life.
55:28.575 --> 55:30.576
Lion King. All that.
55:33.788 --> 55:37.916
I'll tell you what, the moratorium on
asking questions is officially lifted.
55:38.418 --> 55:39.918
Fire away.
55:40.170 --> 55:41.712
Okay.
55:43.673 --> 55:44.923
-How's your arm?
-Not bad.
55:45.091 --> 55:47.426
Do you think Darryl slept with your wife?
55:48.011 --> 55:50.262
-No.
-I do.
55:50.430 --> 55:53.098
I mean, why would he lend you
this very fancy car...
55:53.266 --> 55:56.101
...and give you all that
walking-around money? It's....
55:56.269 --> 55:57.936
Because he's my friend.
55:58.438 --> 55:59.938
That's why.
56:00.482 --> 56:02.775
Have you ever been
to the San Diego Zoo?
56:02.942 --> 56:04.610
I have a question for you.
56:04.778 --> 56:07.613
How did those three questions
come into your head?
56:08.281 --> 56:11.950
I was thinking about your wife and Darryl,
Darryl getting your wife pregnant.
56:12.118 --> 56:15.120
What their baby would look like,
maybe like a zebra baby.
56:15.789 --> 56:18.123
Then I thought,
"Well, I've never seen a zebra."
56:18.291 --> 56:21.460
And I thought, "Well, I should maybe
go to the San Diego Zoo...
56:21.628 --> 56:24.713
-...when we get to California--"
-Nope, I've never been to the zoo.
56:24.881 --> 56:26.548
Next question, please.
56:27.384 --> 56:28.926
PETER:
Hey, hon.
56:29.135 --> 56:33.347
It's your ever-faithful and adoring husband
calling from West Texas.
56:33.515 --> 56:34.556
Just checking in.
56:34.724 --> 56:38.352
Weird, it went to voicemail.
Are you on the other line with Darryl?
56:40.230 --> 56:41.980
I actually talked to him...
56:42.482 --> 56:45.859
...and he told me about the lovely weekend
you guys spent in San Diego.
56:46.027 --> 56:48.070
Didn't jibe with the way
you recounted it...
56:48.238 --> 56:50.989
...so maybe with all your e-mails
and phone calls...
56:51.157 --> 56:52.908
...you can get your story straight.
56:55.537 --> 56:58.831
If there's something you need to tell me
before we go down this road...
56:58.998 --> 57:01.542
...if I'm gonna have a surprise
in the delivery room...
57:01.709 --> 57:05.045
...I would just appreciate it
that you erase any and all--
57:05.213 --> 57:06.672
Call me.
57:08.758 --> 57:11.510
-Was I right or was I wrong?
-About what?
57:12.345 --> 57:15.180
The Darryl thing, your wife,
and the mystery about the baby.
57:15.348 --> 57:17.224
She's sleeping. I left a message.
57:18.101 --> 57:22.604
And the casual manner with which you
bring up this topic, it makes me edgy.
57:23.398 --> 57:26.984
So if you wouldn't mind not doing that
anymore I'd really appreciate it.
57:27.235 --> 57:29.069
-I got some snacks.
-Yes, I see.
57:29.237 --> 57:31.905
Unfortunately, I need you to drive.
I'm on Vicodin.
57:32.073 --> 57:34.908
I'm not supposed to operate
heavy machinery.
57:35.577 --> 57:36.869
I will tell you this:
57:37.036 --> 57:40.747
If you blink, if you even look like you
might be dozing, let alone fall asleep...
57:40.915 --> 57:45.252
...I'm gonna put hands on you. I'm gonna
choke you out with your own scarf.
57:45.420 --> 57:49.548
Wrap that thing around your neck
and choke you the fuck out. Promise.
57:51.551 --> 57:53.135
Seems a bit drastic.
57:53.303 --> 57:54.595
Take off your glasses.
57:54.762 --> 57:56.680
I bought them,
I wanted to showcase them.
57:56.848 --> 57:58.265
It's night. You're driving.
57:58.683 --> 58:00.934
You act like you've never been
in a fender-bender.
58:01.102 --> 58:03.479
-Remove them.
-Okay.
58:05.565 --> 58:07.900
-Jolt Cola? Drink it.
-Yeah.
58:08.067 --> 58:11.737
-You're not the boss of me, you know.
-I know. Just drink it.
58:12.614 --> 58:13.989
Please.
58:19.579 --> 58:20.913
Attaboy.
58:26.753 --> 58:28.754
By the way, when I fell asleep...
58:28.922 --> 58:30.923
...that was a one-time occurrence.
58:31.424 --> 58:35.093
-I know what I'm doing. I'm a grown man.
-Did you remember to use the restroom?
58:35.261 --> 58:36.678
ETHAN:
Oh.
58:50.443 --> 58:53.487
[PINK FLOYD'S "HEY YOU"
PLAYlNG OVER RADlO]
58:53.905 --> 58:57.658
[SINGlNG]
Hey you, out there on your own
58:57.825 --> 58:59.952
Sitting naked by the phone
59:00.119 --> 59:02.162
Would you touch me?
59:04.582 --> 59:08.377
[OVER RADlO]
Hey you, with your ear against the wall
59:08.753 --> 59:12.548
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
59:16.302 --> 59:22.683
[SINGlNG] Hey you
Would you help me to carry the stone?
59:26.479 --> 59:30.983
Open your heart, I'm coming home
59:31.150 --> 59:32.693
[COUGHING]
59:37.991 --> 59:40.033
This is some stuff.
59:43.746 --> 59:45.998
This window is not working.
59:46.207 --> 59:50.085
No, I locked them so we could get
a good clambake going on in here.
59:50.670 --> 59:52.337
That way, Sonny could get stoned.
59:52.964 --> 59:54.673
[DOG SNORlNG]
59:56.843 --> 59:58.010
Am I stoned?
59:58.595 --> 01:00:00.345
Do you feel stoned?
01:00:14.027 --> 01:00:16.737
[OVER RADlO]
But it was only fantasy
01:00:20.867 --> 01:00:24.786
No matter how he tried
He could not break free
01:00:28.207 --> 01:00:31.501
And the worms ate into his brain
01:00:39.636 --> 01:00:45.932
Hey you
Don't tell me there's no hope at all
01:00:49.479 --> 01:00:51.730
Together we stand
01:00:52.774 --> 01:00:55.400
Divided we fall
01:01:02.909 --> 01:01:04.493
PETER:
Then what? How did it resolve?
01:01:05.244 --> 01:01:09.039
Well, it turns out the cheese grater
was underneath the mattress.
01:01:10.291 --> 01:01:14.503
Ha, ha!
That is so sophisticated. And has heart.
01:01:14.671 --> 01:01:15.754
The show has heart.
01:01:16.172 --> 01:01:18.256
How do you know so much about this?
01:01:18.424 --> 01:01:22.636
I run a fan site for the show. Not official,
but I've run a fan site for about six years.
01:01:23.096 --> 01:01:24.971
I started it at an internet café.
01:01:25.515 --> 01:01:27.516
Used to go in there and wash my feet.
01:01:27.684 --> 01:01:28.850
What was the site called?
01:01:29.268 --> 01:01:31.561
It'sRainingTwoAndAHalfMen.com.
01:01:32.772 --> 01:01:33.939
Wow.
01:01:34.315 --> 01:01:38.193
That is sublime. Can I retract every
derogatory statement I've made about you?
01:01:38.611 --> 01:01:40.821
Thank you, Peter. That's very sweet.
01:01:41.114 --> 01:01:43.281
-Hand me a Bugle.
-Sure.
01:01:45.201 --> 01:01:46.493
Thank you.
01:01:46.661 --> 01:01:48.787
-Will you feed one to the hound?
-Very well.
01:01:53.209 --> 01:01:55.961
Are we on the highway still?
01:01:56.129 --> 01:01:58.171
ETHAN:
Relax, Peter, I've got it covered.
01:01:58.339 --> 01:01:59.506
PETER:
Are you certain?
01:01:59.674 --> 01:02:02.634
ETHAN: You're getting paranoid.
That pot got to you.
01:02:03.219 --> 01:02:05.971
PETER:
Okay. All right, you see the flag?
01:02:06.681 --> 01:02:09.224
It looks like a border crossing,
it says "Mexico"--
01:02:09.392 --> 01:02:12.310
-Oh, Lord. Gosh.
-What?
01:02:12.478 --> 01:02:15.313
I thought that said Texaco.
We're low on gas.
01:02:15.982 --> 01:02:17.315
-Okay, we're fine.
PETER: Yep.
01:02:17.483 --> 01:02:19.025
ETHAN:
We're good. We're good.
01:02:19.193 --> 01:02:20.652
What are you gonna tell them?
01:02:20.820 --> 01:02:23.155
All I'm gonna do is say,
"Look, we made a mistake."
01:02:23.322 --> 01:02:26.074
-And we're gonna ask to turn around.
-Perfect.
01:02:26.534 --> 01:02:30.704
Okay, I need you to be quiet.
Sit straight. Don't say anything.
01:02:30.872 --> 01:02:33.498
Won't that be suspicious
if they ask me a question?
01:02:33.666 --> 01:02:35.667
-Let me handle everything.
-You handle it.
01:02:35.835 --> 01:02:38.003
ETHAN: Here we go.
-Uh-oh. He's looking right at me.
01:02:38.171 --> 01:02:40.505
ETHAN:
Peter, please be quiet, okay?
01:02:43.009 --> 01:02:44.509
I'm sorry.
01:02:45.094 --> 01:02:48.096
Hello. The weirdest thing happened.
We just kind of got shifted--
01:02:48.264 --> 01:02:50.515
Are you guys American citizens?
01:02:50.683 --> 01:02:52.058
Yes. Yes, we are.
01:02:52.226 --> 01:02:54.019
-The both of you?
-Yes, absolutely.
01:02:54.187 --> 01:02:56.188
Can I see your passports?
01:02:56.355 --> 01:02:57.689
We don't have passports.
01:02:58.399 --> 01:03:00.567
The thing is,
we didn't mean to end up here.
01:03:00.735 --> 01:03:05.280
Somehow, I must have taken
the wrong exit, and we're here, so....
01:03:05.448 --> 01:03:08.116
If we could just maybe turn around
and go back?
01:03:08.701 --> 01:03:10.243
You wanna turn around?
01:03:10.411 --> 01:03:12.913
Yeah, it was a mistake.
We're trying to get back--
01:03:13.748 --> 01:03:15.999
What's wrong with your friend?
01:03:17.418 --> 01:03:18.585
Peter, don't do that.
01:03:18.753 --> 01:03:21.713
Why are your eyes so glassy?
You been partying?
01:03:22.215 --> 01:03:23.715
No, I have glaucoma.
01:03:23.883 --> 01:03:27.427
What about your friend,
does he have glaucoma too?
01:03:28.888 --> 01:03:32.057
Answer the man. Do you have glaucoma?
No, he doesn't have glaucoma.
01:03:32.225 --> 01:03:34.810
What about the dog,
does he have glaucoma?
01:03:35.603 --> 01:03:37.896
Because his eyes are glassy as fuck.
01:03:38.064 --> 01:03:39.105
[PETER GlGGLES]
01:03:39.273 --> 01:03:41.858
Shut off the car.
Give me the keys, please.
01:03:45.655 --> 01:03:46.905
Wait right here.
01:03:49.617 --> 01:03:50.992
[SPEAKS IN SPANlSH]
01:03:51.327 --> 01:03:53.286
-Did I blow it?
-No, we're fine.
01:03:54.247 --> 01:03:55.413
You are smooth.
01:03:56.374 --> 01:03:57.833
-Wow.
-Hand me Sonny, please.
01:04:00.253 --> 01:04:02.754
God, my heart was in my throat.
I was flipping out.
01:04:03.130 --> 01:04:06.508
Could you hand me my father's ashes?
They're on the floorboard.
01:04:06.884 --> 01:04:09.761
Wow. What's--? What are you doing?
01:04:25.027 --> 01:04:27.612
PETER: We took the wrong exit,
we wound up here by mistake.
01:04:28.030 --> 01:04:30.407
No matter how many times you ask,
that's my answer.
01:04:30.575 --> 01:04:32.617
You sound like Jason Bourne, man.
01:04:32.785 --> 01:04:35.370
You don't know where you're going.
No ID.
01:04:36.038 --> 01:04:38.164
I wanna speak to
the American consulate.
01:04:38.332 --> 01:04:39.666
I'm American, I have rights.
01:04:39.834 --> 01:04:41.459
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Thank you.
01:04:41.627 --> 01:04:44.796
Hey, Ramon.
He wants to talk to his consulate.
01:04:49.343 --> 01:04:52.053
[IN AMERlCAN ACCENT] Hello, sir.
Welcome to the American consulate.
01:04:52.221 --> 01:04:54.514
-How can I help you?
-That's unacceptable.
01:04:57.810 --> 01:05:01.146
What are you laughing about?
This is a serious matter. I have rights.
01:05:01.314 --> 01:05:03.315
AGENT:
You americanos sneak into our country.
01:05:03.649 --> 01:05:06.484
You bring drugs, you party.
You sleep with our women.
01:05:06.652 --> 01:05:09.070
I've never heard of an American
sneaking into Mexico.
01:05:09.238 --> 01:05:11.865
This would be an isolated incident.
It's usually the reverse.
01:05:12.992 --> 01:05:15.535
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I'm getting tired of your cavalier attitude.
01:05:15.703 --> 01:05:17.537
Well, I apologize. I'm sorry.
01:05:17.830 --> 01:05:21.333
You attempted to transport drugs
across an international border...
01:05:21.834 --> 01:05:23.251
...dude.
01:05:23.836 --> 01:05:25.629
This is serious shit.
01:05:45.358 --> 01:05:54.866
[IN SPANlSH]
01:06:04.877 --> 01:06:06.419
Okay, Daddy.
01:06:07.338 --> 01:06:08.838
There.
01:06:09.924 --> 01:06:11.257
[CLANKING]
01:06:15.972 --> 01:06:17.055
[ENGINE STARTS]
01:06:22.853 --> 01:06:23.895
[YELLS]
01:06:29.110 --> 01:06:30.652
Shit!
01:06:40.413 --> 01:06:41.621
Son of a bitch!
01:06:48.879 --> 01:06:50.547
[CAR HORNS HONKlNG]
01:06:51.590 --> 01:06:53.091
Stop!
01:06:57.471 --> 01:06:58.638
Help!
01:07:00.474 --> 01:07:02.267
[POLlCE SlRENS WAILING]
01:07:04.270 --> 01:07:06.146
Oh, shoot.
01:07:24.582 --> 01:07:27.083
PATROLMAN: Pull over!
PETER: What the fuck?
01:07:28.669 --> 01:07:30.253
Pull the car over!
01:07:30.421 --> 01:07:31.629
[SPEAKS IN SPANlSH]
01:07:36.010 --> 01:07:38.053
Hold on, Sonny, it's about to get rough.
01:07:45.478 --> 01:07:46.644
Oh, God.
01:07:55.654 --> 01:07:56.821
[SCREAMS]
01:08:13.339 --> 01:08:14.881
Ethan?
01:08:15.841 --> 01:08:17.008
Hollywood!
01:08:33.359 --> 01:08:34.818
Oh, crud.
01:08:40.032 --> 01:08:42.408
Peter? Peter, are you okay?
01:08:51.042 --> 01:08:53.086
PETER:
How many laws did we just break?
01:08:53.254 --> 01:08:55.421
ETHAN:
I don't know, 60?
01:08:56.298 --> 01:08:58.049
I had no idea where I was going.
01:08:58.216 --> 01:09:00.844
Then I see you. Remember,
when we jackknifed together?
01:09:01.011 --> 01:09:03.345
-But you didn't look like you.
-We locked eyes.
01:09:03.514 --> 01:09:06.349
-God, you looked crazy!
-Yeah. Well, I'm in stealth mode.
01:09:06.517 --> 01:09:09.727
-That's why I got the scarf on my head.
-You were like a commando.
01:09:09.895 --> 01:09:11.729
-You were a Comanche warrior.
-Thanks.
01:09:11.897 --> 01:09:13.898
-It was the greatest ever.
-Thank you.
01:09:14.066 --> 01:09:15.316
Don't move. Ready?
01:09:15.901 --> 01:09:17.819
What? Oh.
01:09:19.488 --> 01:09:21.322
That's your new headshot.
Ha-ha-ha!
01:09:22.448 --> 01:09:25.201
-Yeah.
-How could it not be?
01:09:25.411 --> 01:09:27.578
God, the pain is extraordinary.
01:09:28.080 --> 01:09:30.622
-Will you e-mail that to me, please?
-Yeah.
01:09:32.459 --> 01:09:35.044
Okay. All right. Just not too much, Peter.
01:09:35.712 --> 01:09:39.256
Rescue. A daring rescue.
01:09:40.091 --> 01:09:42.051
-You came back for me.
-Of course I did.
01:09:42.219 --> 01:09:43.636
You're so brave.
01:09:43.804 --> 01:09:46.471
I made you a promise.
I told you I was gonna get you home.
01:09:46.640 --> 01:09:48.390
I'm getting you home safe, okay?
01:09:50.144 --> 01:09:51.435
-I'm gonna kiss you.
-What?
01:09:51.604 --> 01:09:53.104
-I'm gonna give you a smooch.
-No.
01:09:53.272 --> 01:09:54.439
-Come on, baby.
-No way!
01:09:54.607 --> 01:09:57.775
-Give me a little smooch.
-Stop, Peter! I'm driving! Oh!
01:09:58.444 --> 01:09:59.652
Sick!
01:09:59.820 --> 01:10:01.070
You got it.
01:10:01.238 --> 01:10:04.574
-Everything's up and down with you.
-I owe you bigtime.
01:10:04.742 --> 01:10:06.951
No way I'd see my kid
if you hadn't done that.
01:10:07.328 --> 01:10:08.953
There's no way.
01:10:09.121 --> 01:10:10.955
I love you, dude.
01:10:13.125 --> 01:10:14.959
I love you too, Peter.
01:10:26.347 --> 01:10:27.680
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
01:10:28.182 --> 01:10:29.807
Oh, dear.
01:10:31.435 --> 01:10:34.312
Sweetheart, I am so sorry.
01:10:34.480 --> 01:10:38.483
You know how I get.
I've always been jealous. It's....
01:10:38.651 --> 01:10:41.319
You knew about that.
I told you I ran into him there.
01:10:41.487 --> 01:10:45.823
I know, and I know it has nothing to do
with you. It's just my shit. It's my shit.
01:10:45.991 --> 01:10:48.993
Just listen to me, okay? Don't say anything.
Just listen to me.
01:10:49.161 --> 01:10:52.163
I would never betray you,
Peter, you know that.
01:10:52.665 --> 01:10:54.749
We're a family now.
01:10:55.334 --> 01:10:57.335
Nothing else matters.
Do you understand?
01:10:59.296 --> 01:11:02.548
-You're so right.
-Can you just get home safely, please?
01:11:03.050 --> 01:11:05.635
-I love you, baby.
-I love you too.
01:11:30.369 --> 01:11:31.869
Wake up. Ethan.
01:11:32.705 --> 01:11:34.330
Check it out.
01:11:52.182 --> 01:11:54.600
PETER:
I'm telling you, I wouldn't make it up.
01:11:54.768 --> 01:11:57.061
ETHAN: You sure? I could've sworn
I read it was man-made.
01:11:57.229 --> 01:12:00.398
PETER: Nope. Not correct. Very old.
Formed over time.
01:12:00.566 --> 01:12:03.192
Grand Canyon. Known fact.
01:12:03.360 --> 01:12:06.029
Peter, I have a photogenic memory.
I have recall for--
01:12:06.196 --> 01:12:11.075
Ethan, I promise you. It's old. It's the
Grand Canyon, it's not the Hoover Dam.
01:12:11.243 --> 01:12:14.829
Well, I know it's not the Hoover Dam,
that was built by the Pilgrims.
01:12:15.289 --> 01:12:16.914
Also incorrect.
01:12:17.207 --> 01:12:19.250
It's magnificent though.
01:12:20.252 --> 01:12:23.838
-You didn't have to stop, you know.
-That's okay. It's the perfect place.
01:12:25.299 --> 01:12:27.300
Let's hit the road.
I can do that any time.
01:12:27.468 --> 01:12:30.219
We've got time.
We don't have to be in L.A. till morning.
01:12:30.387 --> 01:12:31.763
What are you doing? Relax.
01:12:31.930 --> 01:12:34.974
We should just stick with the plan,
you know?
01:12:35.142 --> 01:12:37.560
But I thought this was part of the plan.
01:12:38.771 --> 01:12:41.647
What am I missing, Ethan?
01:12:41.815 --> 01:12:43.691
What's really going on?
01:12:43.859 --> 01:12:46.736
When I said the Grand Canyon
wasn't on the way, you said:
01:12:46.904 --> 01:12:48.905
"Too bad, it would've been perfect."
01:12:49.073 --> 01:12:51.282
When we passed
the Mississippi River you said:
01:12:51.450 --> 01:12:53.201
"Too bad, Dad loved titties and jazz."
01:12:53.369 --> 01:12:57.622
I just-- You know, we got stuff to do
and I don't wanna step on it.
01:12:57.790 --> 01:12:59.749
I know it's hard to say goodbye.
01:13:00.292 --> 01:13:04.337
And I didn't know your dad, but from what
you've told me he was a great father.
01:13:04.838 --> 01:13:06.714
He was a cool guy.
01:13:07.007 --> 01:13:09.550
I'm just saying.
01:13:09.843 --> 01:13:11.844
I'm just suggesting.
01:13:12.471 --> 01:13:14.305
If you got it in you...
01:13:16.308 --> 01:13:18.518
...he deserves a grand gesture.
01:13:22.481 --> 01:13:24.065
Okay.
01:13:35.285 --> 01:13:36.869
Come on, Sonny.
01:13:40.457 --> 01:13:43.167
Come here, sweetheart. Yeah.
01:13:59.518 --> 01:14:02.019
Dad, you were like a father to me.
01:14:03.522 --> 01:14:05.064
And...
01:14:08.026 --> 01:14:10.653
...I don't know how
I'm gonna make it without you.
01:14:14.741 --> 01:14:20.037
But I know that you'll look after me
from up there.
01:14:24.334 --> 01:14:26.586
I'm gonna make you proud, Dad.
01:14:27.212 --> 01:14:28.671
Okay.
01:14:29.923 --> 01:14:31.549
I promise.
01:14:34.052 --> 01:14:35.803
I love you.
01:14:38.390 --> 01:14:40.224
Say hi to Mom.
01:14:58.869 --> 01:15:00.453
Bye, Daddy.
01:15:11.215 --> 01:15:14.425
He was a great guy. You would've
loved him. He was just like me.
01:15:17.471 --> 01:15:19.013
Hey....
01:15:20.974 --> 01:15:26.437
There's something I've been wanting
to tell you I feel pretty awful about.
01:15:26.605 --> 01:15:29.857
I kind of want to get it off my chest. I....
01:15:33.612 --> 01:15:35.947
I ditched you at the rest stop
in Louisiana.
01:15:36.490 --> 01:15:39.492
-What?
-I had no intention of coming back.
01:15:40.285 --> 01:15:42.119
So wrong.
01:15:42.955 --> 01:15:44.247
Why would you do that?
01:15:44.414 --> 01:15:47.124
Because I'm a pig. I'm an asshole.
I'm working on it.
01:15:50.128 --> 01:15:52.964
Well, you know what?
You came back with doughnuts.
01:15:53.423 --> 01:15:55.883
I think that says more
about you than leaving does.
01:15:56.051 --> 01:15:57.468
So...
01:15:58.178 --> 01:15:59.220
...just--
01:15:59.388 --> 01:16:01.138
You're something else. Thanks.
01:16:06.019 --> 01:16:07.812
That's a load off.
01:16:08.146 --> 01:16:11.899
Well, there's something I've been
wanting to get off my chest too.
01:16:12.067 --> 01:16:13.150
Shoot.
01:16:15.487 --> 01:16:16.988
I'm not really 23 years old.
01:16:19.449 --> 01:16:20.866
I know.
01:16:21.493 --> 01:16:22.660
It's okay.
01:16:24.162 --> 01:16:26.038
The other thing is...
01:16:28.000 --> 01:16:29.500
...Peter...
01:16:31.128 --> 01:16:33.838
...I have your wallet
and I've had it this whole time.
01:16:34.006 --> 01:16:35.464
What?
01:16:36.633 --> 01:16:38.301
What are you talking about?
01:16:40.804 --> 01:16:42.179
Peter...
01:16:42.723 --> 01:16:44.473
...okay, listen.
01:16:45.559 --> 01:16:47.351
Why would you do that?
01:16:47.519 --> 01:16:50.479
I saw it on the plane
and I didn't wanna be alone.
01:16:50.647 --> 01:16:53.482
I was feeling vulnerable
because of my father's death.
01:16:53.650 --> 01:16:57.653
And I just didn't wanna go across country
by myself, you know?
01:16:59.531 --> 01:17:01.073
-It's all here.
-Yeah.
01:17:01.241 --> 01:17:04.577
All my money, all my credit cards.
Everything....
01:17:05.912 --> 01:17:07.538
Everything I needed.
01:17:07.873 --> 01:17:09.582
This whole time.
01:17:14.921 --> 01:17:17.673
-You're okay with it?
-It's in the past.
01:17:18.258 --> 01:17:19.884
What are you gonna do?
01:17:23.430 --> 01:17:25.306
-Okay.
-Okay.
01:17:25.724 --> 01:17:28.184
-Thanks, Peter.
-Yep.
01:17:28.727 --> 01:17:31.103
Okay. Okay.
Let's just hit the road then, right?
01:17:31.271 --> 01:17:34.231
-You get Sonny, and I'll drive.
-I'll grab him in a minute.
01:17:34.399 --> 01:17:36.734
-After I fucking kill you!
-Ow!
01:17:37.569 --> 01:17:39.904
You little thief prick.
01:17:40.072 --> 01:17:41.906
Die, thief. You thief.
01:17:42.407 --> 01:17:43.532
Calm down!
01:17:44.868 --> 01:17:47.078
Peter, count to 1 0. It'll help. Aah!
01:17:47.245 --> 01:17:48.746
[CELL PHONE RlNGlNG]
01:17:48.955 --> 01:17:51.540
The phone's ringing!
01:17:51.958 --> 01:17:53.501
[ETHAN COUGHING]
01:17:57.964 --> 01:18:00.341
-Hello, dear.
-Peter, it's happening.
01:18:00.509 --> 01:18:02.802
-What?
-You won't believe it. My water broke.
01:18:04.012 --> 01:18:05.971
-How?
-Where are you?
01:18:06.515 --> 01:18:09.016
I'm at the Grand Canyon.
I'll be there in a minute.
01:18:09.184 --> 01:18:11.435
What? Did you just say
the Grand Canyon?
01:18:13.605 --> 01:18:14.939
Peter?
01:18:15.857 --> 01:18:18.025
Mom? He's at the Grand Canyon.
01:18:18.193 --> 01:18:19.944
Oh, my God.
01:18:20.195 --> 01:18:22.196
-Who was it?
-My wife has gone into labor.
01:18:22.406 --> 01:18:25.783
-I thought we were having a C-section.
-Get in the car.
01:18:26.952 --> 01:18:29.870
You stepped on my Capezios.
Okay, okay, okay!
01:18:30.038 --> 01:18:31.539
Let's go!
01:18:32.124 --> 01:18:34.125
Good God, you maniac.
01:18:48.473 --> 01:18:52.143
Not gonna make it. That's great.
I'm gonna miss the birth of my child.
01:18:53.061 --> 01:18:54.145
We are gonna make it.
01:18:54.312 --> 01:18:56.313
There's no "we." Don't say "we."
01:19:00.485 --> 01:19:03.028
-Okay, look-- No. Me first.
-Please, can I--?
01:19:03.196 --> 01:19:05.322
No. You can't. I told you I saw red.
01:19:05.490 --> 01:19:08.409
I told you I was gonna put hands on you.
I have a problem.
01:19:09.077 --> 01:19:11.495
And I'm sorry you were
the recipient of it.
01:19:11.663 --> 01:19:13.330
But I warned you.
01:19:14.207 --> 01:19:16.083
-I'm sorry.
-Fine.
01:19:16.251 --> 01:19:19.086
But in the future,
when we're hanging out as buddies...
01:19:19.254 --> 01:19:22.381
...if we get into a fight,
don't go for my face.
01:19:22.549 --> 01:19:25.259
-That's how I make a living. Okay?
-Okay.
01:19:26.553 --> 01:19:27.970
Still bleeding.
01:19:28.138 --> 01:19:31.056
Check the glove, there's probably
a first-aid kit or something.
01:19:32.392 --> 01:19:33.768
Clean yourself up.
01:19:35.771 --> 01:19:36.854
Check this thing out.
01:19:47.532 --> 01:19:49.033
Oh, shoot.
01:19:52.037 --> 01:19:53.412
[SCREAMS]
01:19:55.874 --> 01:19:57.374
I can't believe I did that.
01:19:58.376 --> 01:20:00.044
Sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry.
01:20:01.755 --> 01:20:04.215
I didn't think it was loaded. Pull over.
01:20:04.382 --> 01:20:06.300
-No, I wanna keep going.
-No. Pull over.
01:20:06.468 --> 01:20:07.802
-I don't want to.
-Pull over.
01:20:07.969 --> 01:20:10.387
No, it didn't happen,
it didn't happen! Why?!
01:20:10.555 --> 01:20:13.599
-I'm in shock!
-It burns!
01:20:14.976 --> 01:20:17.561
ETHAN:
Pull over! Pull over!
01:20:17.729 --> 01:20:19.563
[PETER GROANlNG]
01:20:20.899 --> 01:20:23.901
Don't panic! Don't panic! Don't panic!
01:20:28.073 --> 01:20:29.323
[GROANS]
01:20:38.083 --> 01:20:39.333
-Oh, no.
-Yep.
01:20:40.085 --> 01:20:41.085
It's right there, yep.
01:20:41.461 --> 01:20:42.878
-I'm so sorry.
-Don't worry.
01:20:43.046 --> 01:20:45.130
We gotta stop the bleeding.
I need your scarf.
01:20:45.298 --> 01:20:48.634
-Turn around?
-No. No, a tourniquet. A tourniquet.
01:20:48.802 --> 01:20:50.261
What the fuck are you doing?
01:20:50.428 --> 01:20:53.013
Turn around! Stay still. I got it.
01:20:53.181 --> 01:20:57.017
You're fine. Right here.
I need you to tie it. I only got one hand.
01:20:57.185 --> 01:20:59.436
It's deep.
We gotta get you to a hospital.
01:20:59.604 --> 01:21:01.772
We're going to a hospital.
We're gonna be fine.
01:21:01.940 --> 01:21:03.274
Oh, God! What did I do?
01:21:03.441 --> 01:21:06.610
-Stop freaking out. It's okay.
-What did I do? What did I do?
01:21:06.778 --> 01:21:10.823
Let's do a little acting exercise like we did
at the rest stop in the bathroom, okay?
01:21:11.032 --> 01:21:13.617
You're a sergeant,
I'm just a grunt in your platoon...
01:21:13.785 --> 01:21:17.997
...but you promised me that you'd get me
home to my high-school sweetheart.
01:21:19.499 --> 01:21:20.958
Okay.
01:21:21.459 --> 01:21:22.459
Action.
01:21:22.627 --> 01:21:24.461
[VOMlTING]
01:21:27.048 --> 01:21:28.173
-Peter.
-Yeah?
01:21:28.341 --> 01:21:29.842
I puked on the wound.
01:21:30.010 --> 01:21:31.635
I know. It's okay, buddy.
01:21:31.887 --> 01:21:34.221
I need you to drive, but we gotta go.
01:21:34.389 --> 01:21:35.848
Okay?
01:21:41.479 --> 01:21:42.938
Come on.
01:21:43.481 --> 01:21:47.151
Get in the back seat, private.
What are you, a girl or something?
01:21:47.319 --> 01:21:48.485
-Excellent.
-Like that?
01:21:48.653 --> 01:21:50.154
-Yeah, let's roll.
-Yeah, okay.
01:22:29.194 --> 01:22:31.153
-Figured it out yet?
-Figured what out?
01:22:31.321 --> 01:22:33.697
Your son's about to be born.
What will you name him?
01:22:33.865 --> 01:22:36.533
-I'll know it when I see him.
-How about "Sonny"?
01:22:36.701 --> 01:22:39.453
No. Not naming my son
after a masturbating dog.
01:22:39.621 --> 01:22:42.206
Don't listen to him, Sonny. He loves you.
01:22:42.374 --> 01:22:44.208
Sonny, no!
01:22:44.459 --> 01:22:46.585
Sonny. Sorry.
01:22:47.212 --> 01:22:49.672
We're heading home!
01:23:03.561 --> 01:23:04.895
I made it.
01:23:05.063 --> 01:23:07.022
-Okay, come on.
-I made it.
01:23:10.318 --> 01:23:12.945
Oh, the monkey, the monkey,
the monkey.
01:23:14.906 --> 01:23:17.116
Sonny, we'll be right back, okay?
01:23:17.492 --> 01:23:18.784
Got it.
01:23:20.328 --> 01:23:21.578
PETER:
Oh, fuck.
01:23:21.746 --> 01:23:23.080
Thank you.
01:23:25.333 --> 01:23:27.668
I have an expectant father
and a gunshot victim.
01:23:27.836 --> 01:23:30.546
PETER:
I know where we're going. Right here.
01:23:30.797 --> 01:23:32.506
Then we cut left.
01:23:33.758 --> 01:23:35.092
-Shoot.
-What?
01:23:35.260 --> 01:23:37.261
I forgot to crack a window for Sonny.
01:23:37.429 --> 01:23:40.139
-The door's off the car, Ethan.
-Right. Okay, good.
01:23:40.306 --> 01:23:42.975
See? Together we think of everything.
01:23:47.105 --> 01:23:49.148
Okay, here we go.
01:23:52.277 --> 01:23:54.653
-Let's get you cleaned up. Right?
-Great. Yeah.
01:23:54.821 --> 01:23:56.655
Give me these guys.
01:23:57.949 --> 01:23:59.867
It's all about to go down.
01:24:00.035 --> 01:24:03.454
Give you a vest, cover up the blood.
01:24:09.544 --> 01:24:12.629
Have I told you that I love your perm?
01:24:13.131 --> 01:24:14.298
Thank you, Peter.
01:24:14.466 --> 01:24:17.468
Look who's come around.
01:24:17.635 --> 01:24:19.261
PETER:
Sarah?
01:24:19.429 --> 01:24:21.972
No, come on, come on.
This way, this way. Here we go.
01:24:22.140 --> 01:24:24.558
-Ma'am.
-Here we go.
01:24:24.726 --> 01:24:27.061
Put your handcuffs in your pocket.
Hide them.
01:24:27.228 --> 01:24:29.146
-Here's the Rally Monkey.
-Boom.
01:24:30.273 --> 01:24:31.315
-Ohh!
-Just keep pushing.
01:24:31.983 --> 01:24:33.025
Sarah?
01:24:33.359 --> 01:24:35.319
-Sarah?
-Peter?
01:24:35.487 --> 01:24:36.487
-You hear that?
ETHAN: Go!
01:24:36.654 --> 01:24:39.156
SARAH: Peter!
-Sarah!
01:24:43.203 --> 01:24:45.579
Darryl. What the fuck?
01:24:45.747 --> 01:24:48.165
FATHER: Whoa, whoa. Whoa, hey.
-Who the hell is this guy?
01:24:48.333 --> 01:24:49.875
You gotta go, man. You gotta go.
01:24:50.043 --> 01:24:51.502
SARAH: Peter!
-Peter, it's this way.
01:24:51.669 --> 01:24:53.504
What the fuck?
01:24:55.173 --> 01:24:57.174
Baby! Baby, you made it!
01:24:57.842 --> 01:24:59.593
-Jesus, Peter, are you okay?
SARAH: Baby?
01:24:59.761 --> 01:25:01.845
No, I just lost a little blood.
01:25:02.680 --> 01:25:05.182
-Ohh! Oh, my God!
ETHAN: Everybody relax.
01:25:05.350 --> 01:25:07.351
Relax. We need to find a hospital, okay?
01:25:07.519 --> 01:25:09.603
-Who are you?
-My name is Ethan Tremblay.
01:25:09.771 --> 01:25:12.356
-I'm your husband's best friend.
-It's nice to meet you.
01:25:12.524 --> 01:25:15.526
Nice to meet you too.
Let's get that baby out of your vagina.
01:25:15.693 --> 01:25:17.194
Okay.
01:25:18.363 --> 01:25:19.613
-Breathe.
-Ahh!
01:25:20.532 --> 01:25:22.074
[BABY CRYlNG]
01:25:23.868 --> 01:25:25.452
ETHAN:
Look at the babies.
01:25:25.745 --> 01:25:28.747
Look at that baby, right?
01:25:30.458 --> 01:25:31.708
You see it?
01:25:31.876 --> 01:25:33.877
PETER: Hey. What do we got?
-You little rascal.
01:25:34.045 --> 01:25:35.546
-Look what you made.
-Show me.
01:25:37.006 --> 01:25:40.134
Ohh. He's really cute.
01:25:40.552 --> 01:25:42.553
That's a handsome boy.
01:25:42.720 --> 01:25:44.763
-It's a girl, actually.
-Mm-mm.
01:25:45.056 --> 01:25:46.223
-Yep.
-No, the--
01:25:46.391 --> 01:25:48.392
Dr. Greene says it happens all the time.
01:25:48.560 --> 01:25:50.602
You know, ultrasounds
aren't always reliable.
01:25:50.770 --> 01:25:51.812
Right.
01:25:51.980 --> 01:25:54.773
-Little Rosie.
-Rosie?
01:25:55.608 --> 01:25:58.944
Little Rosie Highman.
Does that sound strange to you?
01:25:59.112 --> 01:26:00.821
No, it's such a pretty name.
01:26:00.989 --> 01:26:03.157
Sarah thought you'd be okay with it.
01:26:03.324 --> 01:26:06.743
-When did you talk to Sarah?
-Right after I cut the umbilical cord.
01:26:06.911 --> 01:26:12.124
-You cut it?
-The tether of life from mother to child.
01:26:12.292 --> 01:26:13.417
I got to cut that.
01:26:13.585 --> 01:26:14.877
-No.
-Yes.
01:26:15.044 --> 01:26:16.086
-You?
-I kept some.
01:26:16.254 --> 01:26:18.589
I kept a little bit of it
and put it in my wallet.
01:26:19.257 --> 01:26:22.634
-It's good for sore ankles and stuff.
-Wow.
01:26:23.553 --> 01:26:26.847
Wow. Oh, my God.
01:26:27.432 --> 01:26:29.850
Oh, my God. Ethan, I dreamt this.
01:26:30.018 --> 01:26:32.936
-This is crazy. I had this strange dream...
-Yeah?
01:26:33.104 --> 01:26:34.438
...that was today.
01:26:34.606 --> 01:26:36.648
And there was a bear.
01:26:37.483 --> 01:26:38.525
What?
01:26:38.693 --> 01:26:40.444
-And the bear chewed the cord.
-Mm-hm.
01:26:40.612 --> 01:26:43.906
That's spot-on if you think about it.
That's like a one in a....
01:26:44.073 --> 01:26:45.115
You know what I mean?
01:26:45.283 --> 01:26:47.201
-I don't get it. What--?
-Forget it.
01:26:47.368 --> 01:26:49.286
It's-- It's....
01:26:50.705 --> 01:26:52.789
It's gotta be a good sign.
01:26:58.004 --> 01:27:00.881
I guess I'll maybe leave you
with your family...
01:27:01.049 --> 01:27:03.383
...and I got that meeting with that agent.
01:27:03.551 --> 01:27:04.593
-It's Friday.
-Yeah.
01:27:04.761 --> 01:27:05.844
Yeah, good luck.
01:27:06.221 --> 01:27:09.598
Oh, I wanted to give you this.
01:27:10.683 --> 01:27:12.851
It has all of my information.
01:27:13.019 --> 01:27:15.896
-Mm-hm.
-ln case you wanna get a soda.
01:27:16.064 --> 01:27:17.981
-Or, you know, I could babysit.
-Right.
01:27:18.483 --> 01:27:20.817
I'll keep it handy.
01:27:24.822 --> 01:27:27.866
We had a crazy few days.
01:27:28.243 --> 01:27:29.534
That was nuts.
01:27:29.702 --> 01:27:31.995
We should do it again.
Go across country again.
01:27:32.914 --> 01:27:34.164
Okay.
01:27:34.540 --> 01:27:36.917
-Sure.
-Call me tomorrow about it.
01:27:37.168 --> 01:27:39.753
-If I don't--
-Call me tomorrow about it.
01:27:40.171 --> 01:27:42.589
I might e-mail you.
Please don't take it personally.
01:27:42.757 --> 01:27:43.924
No, no, e-mail's fine.
01:27:45.510 --> 01:27:46.551
[DOG WHEEZES]
01:27:46.844 --> 01:27:50.055
-Bye, Sonny.
-Do you mind if Sonny and I take the truck?
01:27:50.223 --> 01:27:51.682
Feel free.
01:27:53.017 --> 01:27:55.769
-It's been a real pleasure, Peter.
-Been a lot of things.
01:28:02.527 --> 01:28:04.194
Thanks.
01:28:11.953 --> 01:28:13.203
Hey. Ethan.
01:28:16.082 --> 01:28:17.374
Welcome to Hollywood.
01:28:17.542 --> 01:28:19.793
What? You want me
to come back and talk to you?
01:28:19.961 --> 01:28:22.045
I was just saying
in the most general sense.
01:28:22.380 --> 01:28:24.548
The city welcomes you.
01:28:25.717 --> 01:28:27.968
Just make sure you call me tomorrow.
01:28:29.345 --> 01:28:30.387
I'll call you.
01:28:38.938 --> 01:28:40.022
[DOORBELL RINGS]
01:28:40.231 --> 01:28:41.481
MAN:
Be right there.
01:28:44.902 --> 01:28:45.944
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
01:28:46.279 --> 01:28:47.321
Hello?
01:28:49.282 --> 01:28:52.492
Oh, hey. I'm Stu, the tutor.
Are you Jake?
01:28:52.910 --> 01:28:54.286
No, I'm his father.
01:28:54.579 --> 01:28:56.163
Oh.
01:28:56.497 --> 01:28:58.457
I'm Stu, the tutor.
01:28:58.750 --> 01:29:00.250
Right.
01:29:01.419 --> 01:29:02.919
Have you been smoking pot?
01:29:03.087 --> 01:29:05.130
No, sir. Not at all.
01:29:06.257 --> 01:29:07.924
Perhaps you're smelling my cat.
01:29:08.134 --> 01:29:09.634
[LAUGHS]
01:29:09.969 --> 01:29:12.095
ALAN: Your cat?
ETHAN: Yes, sir. He's an outdoor cat.
01:29:12.263 --> 01:29:14.598
You know what, he's really funny.
01:29:14.766 --> 01:29:17.809
Don't get crazy.
I'm telling you, the show's funny.
01:29:17.977 --> 01:29:20.354
Come on. You love him.
You know you love him.
01:29:20.521 --> 01:29:22.773
I survived him. There's a difference.
01:29:22.940 --> 01:29:26.526
Um, uh, Charlie, this is Jake's tutor, Stu.
01:29:26.694 --> 01:29:29.446
-Hey.
-I'm not high, man, it's my cat.
01:29:29.614 --> 01:29:31.114
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
01:29:31.741 --> 01:29:33.116
CHARLlE:
Relax, Stu. We're not cops.
01:29:33.284 --> 01:29:35.160
ETHAN:
Oh, really? He sure looks like the heat.
01:29:35.328 --> 01:29:38.497
Like clockwork. I told him
we'd call him after we watched it.
01:29:38.664 --> 01:29:40.332
SARAH:
He's excited.
01:29:41.292 --> 01:29:43.877
If she says his name, I'll freak out.
01:29:45.129 --> 01:29:46.213
ETHAN:
Pita bread?
01:29:46.631 --> 01:29:47.631
Hummus?
01:29:48.466 --> 01:29:50.467
Again, no thank you.
01:29:52.011 --> 01:29:53.970
You got any more pot?
01:29:54.347 --> 01:29:56.848
Not for $9 an hour I don't.
01:29:57.975 --> 01:30:00.143
I mean, I don't know
what you're talking about.
01:35:10.788 --> 01:35:12.789
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]
01:35:13.305 --> 01:35:19.263
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